Avenue Q Fever

I had the chance to watch Avenue Q last Saturday and while I may not be the best critic of theater plays, I must say that it is definitely the best play I have ever watched in my lifetime. Everything was just picture perfect – from the acting to the singing and the handling of the puppets; from the script itself to the songs and their lyrics and background music; from the props and the simple backdrop down to the each and every technical aspect of the play. It was definitely superb and I got every penny’s worth I spent on the ticket.

I have already heard all the songs of Avenue Q even before I watched the play. Just listening to the songs is entertaining in itself. You also get to know a bit about the characters already and you get a clue as to the entire story of the play. However, when I watched the play, it was different seeing the actors portray their roles so convincingly. I got to see the entire picture and though I already knew some of the punchlines based on the songs, I still laughed my heart out whenever they were delivered because it’s different when the actors or the puppets bring them to life.

All of the actors had outstanding performances. I couldn’t really pinpoint who excelled the most during the play, but I am all praises for Rachel Alejandro, Felix Rivera and Joel Trinidad for their excellent and versatile performances. I couldn’t imagine portraying two or more roles/puppets (sometimes even with contrasting personalities as in the case of Rachel A.) and getting into character right away. There were even times when both of their characters were on stage and conversing. Kudos also goes to Frenchie Dy who, though a newcomer to the theater, played her role convincingly and was indeed, funny all throughout the play.

It’s sad that the showing of the play will end this weekend. Right after watching the play, I immediately texted some friends of mine and prodded them to watch Avenue Q, but apparently, the Avenue Q fever has already spread because tickets are already sold out for this last weekend! I’m pretty sure there’ll be public clamor to have a restaging of this play!

AVENUE Q is the story of Princeton, a bright-eyed college grad who comes to New York City with big dreams and a tiny bank account. He soon discovers that the only neighborhood in his price range is Avenue Q; still, the neighbors seem nice. There's Brian the out-of-work comedian and his therapist fiancée Christmas Eve; Nicky the good-hearted slacker and his roommate Rod --a Republican investment banker who seems to have some sort of secret; an Internet addict called Trekkie Monster; and a very cute kindergarten teaching assistant named Kate. And would you believe the building's superintendent is Gary Coleman?!? (Yes, that Gary Coleman.) But not all the people on Avenue Q are human and perhaps that explains some of their unusual warmth. No, these non-humans aren't aliens trying to take over the world with their unusually affable behavior. They are puppets – much like you'd see on Sesame Street. Together, Princeton and his newfound friends struggle to find jobs, dates, and their ever-elusive purpose in life.

The music in Avenue Q finds a happy medium between childishly fun and adult up beat, on the jazzy side. The numbers aren’t huge productions, but they’re all catchy, honest and heartfelt without any sweaty “take-your-breath-away” dancing. That’s not to say these songs won’t get you excited, because they absolutely will – but with their humor! How could you not laugh at a song called “It Sucks to be Me” or “If You Were Gay”? What these songs do is take real-life concepts and observances, and relates them in a comic way – without ever becoming condescending and while remaining simplistic. And, as all good comedy contains enough reality to make it ring true, it’s no surprise that you’ll find yourself laughing out loud at almost every twist and turn of the story.

(Taken from http://www.ticketworld.com.ph/events/default.asp?event_name=Avenue%20Q)

Time

While I am glad that my days of work still don’t drag on for me, i.e. I start work on Monday and in the blink of an eye, it’s already the end of the workweek; I feel a bit sad and disappointed that time flies so fast during weekends as well. There’s just not enough time to do all the leisurely activities planned for the weekend. You just can’t fit all you want to do in 48 or so hours. There’s no time for oversleeping, going out with your friends, eating to your heart’s desire, reading the books you’ve bought the past month, chatting with a long lost friend, watching a movie or your favorite TV shows, surfing the net, blogging, fixing your room, etc., etc.

Recently, I have been engaging in wise talk with a co-counsel. He’s 72 years old and still active in the practice. He’s still very sharp and wise despite his age, he appears very statesman-like and has a very fatherly image. I look up to him for advice regarding the law and my career.

One time he asked me, “If you were given just one wish to have anything, tangible or otherwise, what would it be?”

I was quick with my answer, “Good health.” I thought of all my limitations because of my kidney disease and was satisfied with my reply.

“How about you, sir?” I asked.

“I was eleven when I first answered that question. It’s definitely time. More time to accomplish the things I need to do and those I want to do.”

I was definitely in awe with his answer. It trumps everything else. With more time, I can achieve all my goals despite any limitations I have in my life.

And with that, I was once again quick with my response, “Sir, can I change my answer?”

Leadership

"It is a curious thing, Harry, that perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

-Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Stronger...

...i honestly feel i am.

i just hope i don't push myself to the limit,

and find myself back to where i started.

www.mypersonality.info

Myers-Briggs Personality Types

ENFP: The "Advocate"

ENFPs are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.

Real ENFP People:

Alicia Silverstone, Bill Cosby, Bob Dylan, Charles Dickens, Dr. Seuss, Franz Joseph Haydn, Martin Short, Phil Donahue, Regis Philbin, Robin William, Sandra Bullock, Sinbad

ENFP Population

Total: 5.5%
Male: 4.5%
Female: 6.5%

Lazy days...

It's pouring heavily outside. This cool and soothing weather is perfect for staying in bed all day and snuggling up with your pillows and sheets (for lack of a warm body to hug. hehe)

It's a Friday - it's the end of the week and tomorrow's the start of a long weekend, Monday being a holiday).

Ah! It's a perfect day for procrastination!

I'm going home!

I know it's weird, but for the past two weeks or so, I've been playing this song on my drive home from work. I play it the second I get to our village gate and the song ends in perfect timing - when I actually do get home and park my car on our garage. From such a busy and tiring day at work, I enjoy listening to this song (and singing with it at the top of my voice). It releases all the stress and anxiety brought by work and makes me forget about them when I do get to the place where I belong, and where my family's love has always been enough for me -- HOME.

"Home"
by: Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Restless

I don’t know why but I’ve been quite restless for the past few weeks. I’ve been searching for something to pacify these lingering qualms of mine but to no avail.

I’ve practically tried searching for it in all places, actually.

I’ve tried eating to my heart’s desire til I become an official glutton. I’ve tried shopping for whatever suddenly tickles my fancy at the malls. I’ve loaded myself with enough workload just to keep my busy but my mind just seems to keep on wandering and yearning for something else. I’ve gained accomplishments over the past few weeks but nothing seems to appease my soul. I’ve searched and tried all other bodily pleasures (and my, they were indeed pleasurable) but I still felt restless, sometimes even guilty, afterwards.

The problem is that I can’t pinpoint want I really want right now.

My friend, I guess you are right. At the risk of sounding too philosophical (which never really was my style), perhaps I’m just on that phase where I’m seeking my purpose. I’m actually happy, but there’s just something lacking right now. A reason for living. A sense of wholeness.

I know I’m gonna keep on searching for that something until I finally get the right one. I just hope I find it soon.

My Daemon

I just nicked this from Pd and I must admit, it's pretty damn interesting.

Lately

Lately, I’ve been finding myself all by my lonesome with only my pen and paper and the voice inside my head for company, and actually enjoying every moment of it. I go out and eat alone without any hesitation whatsoever, whether it be in a crowded place or in a secluded restaurant. I find myself strolling around the mall without any company and choosing a coffee shop or a restaurant or even a book store to have a quick stop over. If the place I choose is conducive and to my liking, I find myself staying for a longer period of time just pondering about the smallest of things to the bigger burdens I’m currently facing.

It’s weird, I know. Me, of all people, on the way towards becoming a full-fledged loner!

Perhaps, it’s the busy lifestyle I’m currently having right now – such that, whenever I have the opportunity to have a little peace and tranquility, I grab it right away and make the most out of it. Or maybe it’s an offshoot of months of having minimal contact with people during my post-kidney transplant recovery period. I really don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m actually yearning for more time all by myself. I’ve actually been looking for the place.

The place where I can sit down comfortably and not care about the entire universe. The place where I can think of all my desires and even my concerns and issues, and not worry one single bit. The place where I can be me – with no one around to judge or react or criticize.

It’s weird, I know. But I’m actually liking this other side of me.

In just three words...

Use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less. It's harder than you think.

1. Where is your cell phone? - STONE’S THROW AWAY
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? -SOON TO COME (pwede ring IN MY DREAMS)
3. Your hair? – NEEDS A HAIRCUT
4. Where is your father? UPSTAIRS IN DREAMLAND
5.Cheesecake? – MADE OF CHEESE
6. Your favorite thing to do? – SLEEP ALL DAY
7. Your dream last night? – CAN’T REALLY REMEMBER
8. Your favorite drink? – ICED TEA, PLEASE
9. Car You Want? – MY OWN VOLVO
10. The room you're in? – OFFICE SLASH DEN
11. George Bush: SHOULD BE REPLACED
12. Your fears? BECOMING TOO FAMOUS (haha!)
13. Nipple rings? DON’T THEY HURT?
14. Who would you hang out with tonight? MY THREE PILLOWS
15. What you're not good at? CRAZY SURVEYS THAT (limit your answers to only three f*cking words!)
16. Go check GoofyAuctions.com and give your opinion? CHECK IT YOURSELF!
17. One of your wish list items? PERFECTLY STABLE HEALTH
18. Where did you grow up? IN THE METRO
19. The last thing you did? CHECK MY E-MAIL
20. What are you wearing? OOH, YOU’RE NAUGHTY
21. Tattoo? – NONE RIGHT NOW
22. Ketchup? – NO, THANK YOU
23. Your computer? – STILL A COMPUTER
24. Your life? – BUSY WITH WORK
25. Your mood? – I’M JUST CHILLIN’
26. Missing? – MY FRIENDS ABROAD
27. What are you thinking about right now? – CAN’T WAIT TOGETTHISOVERWITH!
28. Your summer? – WAS TOO HOT
29. Your relationship status? – SINGLE AND AVAILABLE
30. Your favorite color(s)- GREY AND BLUE
31. When was the last time you laughed? – I ALWAYS DO
32. Last time you cried? – LONG TIME AGO
33. High school? – PART OF HISTORY
34. Who's your crush? – WHO IS YOURS?
35. Music you're listening to? – HOME BY DAUGHTRY

prci

For the life of me, I would never ever forget this baptism of fire of mine…

…where there’s no such thing as free journalism, even news articles have a price.

…where there’s always office politics no matter where you go.

…where judges don’t care if it’s obvious that they’re impartial, as long as they get their end of the deal.

…where being the lone associate in a team (the rest being partners) is both a reward and a curse.

…where you get a lot of first times for everything.

…where you finally get to show off your suits and eat at fancy restos.

…where learning is an ongoing process and you actually begin to love it.

…where you finally get the chance to prove your worth to the firm and succeed.

You get me through the day

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

June in retrospect (Two weddings and a funeral, among others)

(This entry is actually long overdue. It remained half-finished and stored in the deep recesses of my office laptop memory until I stumbled upon it today. Considering that the entry is about the month of June and it is already the end of July, I realized the need to actually finish this entry and post it before it gets kept and forgotten once again only to find it again a month or so thereafter.)

It has actually been a pretty busy month of June. Workload was terrible; occasions and gatherings happened left and right; and personal matters just somehow always kept in the way of everything else. Thus, these last few days of June, I had a self-imposed ceasefire just to break away from all worries and concerns. And it was a time as well to look back and ponder if what keeps me busy nowadays are the things which truly matter and make me happy in my life.

Two Weddings

June is, indeed, a month of weddings. Two of my really good friends from college became June brides as they walked along the aisle on consecutive Saturdays. I guess you realize how much older you’re getting through the occasions that you attend. Life starts out with attendance at kiddie parties where what really mattered were the games and the prizes and the goodies you were gonna get. Then there’s the phase of attending your friends’ debuts and perhaps, even becoming part of the cotillion de honor. And now, when most of your friends are already working, some of them decide to settle down with their better halves and get married. Before I know it, I’d be attending baptisms and kiddie parties of my friends’ children! I feel so old already – NOT! Hehe. I actually still feel young and don’t really feel the need to rush things.

It was great because I finally had the chance to see my college barkada. I just realized I haven’t seen them since I started reviewing for the bar, which is, almost a year ago already. I just realized I never really had the chance to talk about my college barkada here in my blog. We’re actually a big group – around 20. Around a third are already abroad, a number went on to further studies (like me), most are already working in companies here and, as I just mentioned earlier, two of them recently got married. I don’t really get to see them as often as I’d want to. We all went on our different paths already. But what’s nice about it is that whenever we do get the chance to get together, it’s like reliving our college days. It’s just pure fun and laughter, and the bond remains the same.

A Funeral

I actually don’t like going to wakes and funerals. There’s some sort of fear and worry that envelops me whenever I am asked to attend such events. But I go anyways and realize thereafter that there’s actually nothing to fear of. In fact, this last wake which I attended, it gave me a chance to think about life and death and everything in between.

I know this may sound morbid, but if I were to die today, it would actually be fine by me. Seriously. No, I’m not going through a suicidal stage; neither am I already getting sick and tired of life - I never was the type. It’s just that I’m happy and contented with life right now. I always strive to be good-natured and I try my best to remain happy no matter what. Thus, if God decided to take my life today, I won’t think of the things I still wish to do and the dreams I still want to fulfill. Rather, I’d think of all the things I’ve already done and pray that these are enough to give me eternal rest. May we all learn to surrender ourselves completely through life and death and everything in between.

Work

The reason why June has been such a hectic month was because of work, work and more work. Two lawyers left our firm (one went on study leave and the other resigned) and I suddenly found myself swamped with so much caseload to handle. I’m taking on so many different cases of different natures – corporate, litigation, labor and taxation – that I don’t know if I should be glad I’m getting so much training and experience, or if I should feel overburdened with all this work.

I’ve realized that I’m actually in a love-hate relationship with my work right now. Work is something I love to hate and hate to love. At times, I feel so exhausted that I wish I didn’t have too much work. But at the same time, I know that if I didn’t have anything to do, I’d be wishing for something to get my hands on. Oh well, the ironies of life. If there’s any important realization about work that I’ve had this month of June, it is that I should learn to stop thinking of work when I get home. It gives you time to de-stress and it rejuvenates your tired body.

Family

Almost every weekend this month of June, the family was together for some event. During the long Independence Day weekend, my brother and sister and their respective spouses and babies decided to stay at home with us. The following Sunday, it was Father’s Day and so we had our usual family meal outside. The Sunday after that, it was my birthday (yipee!) and my parents’ wedding anniversary and so we went to Tagaytay to enjoy the whole day there. During two Sundays also, we experienced the joys of modern technology when we “webcammed” and “microphoned” with my brother in the US. It was our first time to try it out and well, everyone was excited and amazed at outcome.

Now that we’re all grown up and not everyone in the family stays in our house any longer, I get to appreciate the times that we are able to gather as a complete family together with the in-laws and my nieces. I guess it’s not really the fact that you stay together in one house that makes you a family, it’s the relationship with each other that’s more important.

Health

I visited my kidney doctor during the first Saturday of June. The lab results were normal and my check-up went a-ok. I’m glad things are turning out fine despite the fact that I’ve been such a busybody the previous month. I only hope that this continues until like, forever! After this check-up of mine, it was the first time that my doctor told me to return for another check-up after a month. Previously, it’s been after every two weeks; perhaps, three weeks at the longest. My doctor’s more confident of the stability of my health now, although, of course, I should always still be on the safe side. My doctor asked me if I get too pressured at work. I lied, of course. I said, “Not at all.” And then she gave me an advice I will never forget: If you get too pressured at work and your internal organs start to deteriorate again, it’s definitely not worth it. Good health is always better than career or money.

A double-edged sword

Whenever your boss gives you a piece of work of his and asks you to review it and add any comments or suggestions, if any, consider it as a double-edged sword.

OPTION A: On one hand, you ask yourself, “Should I return this work of his unscathed and free from comments except for praises on how convincing it is and how brilliant the masterpiece is?” If you decide to go for this Option, it’s either you get labeled as an ass-kisser or someone dull with no bright new ideas.

OPTION B: On the other hand, you ask yourself, “Should I give all my input or at least try to make up something worthwhile to add to the current piece of work?” If you decide to go for this Option, it’s either you get labeled as a proud and arrogant know-it-all or just plain outright disrespectful to your boss.

So go ahead and choose. Option A or B?

Happy birthday to me...

I was driving alone on my way home. The clock has struck twelve and it was officially my birthday. I was preparing myself for a gloomy day (albeit hidden) full of unsettling thoughts and complex worries. And You came along... So Thank You.

In The Sun
Michael Stipe

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
’cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can’t keep awake

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

’cause if I find
If I find my own way

How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
You

I don’t know anymore
What it’s for
I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
’cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
Any more than me

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

Thoughts on life

I guess at any stage in your life, you will always ask,

"Is it all worth it?"

And you just continue persevering until you find the answer, which, of course, you never would. That's when you realize there's never a right or wrong answer -- only consequences you have to deal with which make you ask the same question all over again. Life goes on a complete circle and you'll realize that the choices you were worrying about before weren't as significant as you thought they were.

So go ahead and live life. Certain events may be, in your opinion, not worth it. But generally, life is worth it.

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I never really thought of myself as the "dreamer" type of person, but come to think of it, I do have a lot of things I would want to fulfill in this lifetime. I likewise view everything from an optimistic point of view and nothing can stop me from seeing the good in everything. Does that make me too much of a dreamer?

Four Somethings

4 jobs I’ve had in my life
• Lawyer
• Banker
• Entrepreneur
• Male Gigolo!

4 movies I could watch over and over again
• Primal Fear
• Monsters Inc.
• Cars
• Saw

4 places I've lived
• Alabang
• Paranaque
• Rockwell, Makati
• Loyola Heights, Quezon City

4 TV Shows/Channels I love to watch
• Survivor
• Grey’s Anatomy
• Prison Break
• Deal or No Deal

4 places I've been on vacation
• Los Angeles
• Singapore
• Hong Kong
• Boracay

4 of my favorite foods
• Pasta!
• Green Salad
• Potatoes! (mashed, baked, French fried, etc.)
• chocolates

4 places I'd rather be in by now
• The Moon
• On the Kodak Theatre stage, singing my heart out in American Idol.
• Lying on the sand in Boracay while getting a full body massage.
• In bed, off to Neverland

Multi-tasking

I’ve been working on cases left and right this morning. While preparing for a meeting and studying the files of one corporate case, I am suddenly disrupted when a client calls me via landline to ask about his intellectual property case. Immediately thereafter, my big boss calls my mobile phone to inquire about the status of another corporate case and in the process, also gives me further instructions on one of my litigation cases. And these aren’t even the cases which are on my “to do list” urgently needed for today!

My big boss tells me that the “kids” of my generation are known for their exceptional multi-tasking skills. I just smile and slightly nod with approval while thinking otherwise. Us, “kids,” are exceptional in multi-tasking only when it comes to leisure. Sure, I can watch TV, talk on the phone, play with my baby nieces, send text messages, lie down to rest and listen to music all at the same time. But when it comes to work… no, I don’t think so… I need all the concentration I can get!

I better inform my big boss of the true nature of multi-tasking of “kids” these days. Just so he won’t expect too much. =)

To L (my long overdue entry)

You were L to begin with…

And perhaps the reason why I never really got to finish this post before is because it’s hard to sum up the entire sixteen years in just a few measly paragraphs.

Though I cannot, for the life of me, encapsulate those sixteen years; what I do know is that distance will never be a hindrance to our friendship and that God will always find a funny way of making our paths cross once again.

So, L, thank you for the friendship. I wish you all the best in your journey and I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Here’s to sixteen times sixteen more years of friendship!

Chasing Cars

Chasing Cars
Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Have said too much
But not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Work, work, work

While I am really overjoyed that, day after day, I am able to prove my worth in this firm; I am, at the same time, overwhelmed at the caseload that is given me. All the folders and files in my room are piling up and I just can’t seem to catch up anymore! I just hope I am able to cover everything on their required deadlines...

Not so Privileged but Principled

He may not own much but he possesses a lot.

A lot of character, a lot of good values, a lot of rationality and a lot of heart.

Despite the enemy’s despicable and underhanded tactics, he remains strong and unwavering.

And with good reason - because he is on the right side.

Let this be a lesson in life

That no matter how low your enemy gets,

And no matter how low your state of life is,

It’s not worth it to lose one’s principles.

They are more important than any material wealth.

(Remain steadfast. We’ll see this through – the lawful way.)

People come and go

Maybe that’s the reason why lately I have found myself stuck inside my own little world….

It’s hard to invest on relationships only to see them come to an end when all common ties also come to an end.

Maybe that’s why it’s better to invest big parts of your savings on a few investments that you know you can focus on and will bring enormous returns; rather than investing small parts of your savings on many investments only to find out that those little investments will soon be gone. Quality over quantity, they say.

So now, I really don’t feel the need to maintain some relationships. At least not as much as I used to. At the same time, I don’t really feel the need to gain so much more. At least I should be selective from now on.

If you see the “new” me sitting in one corner instead of mingling with everyone else, I’m not being unfriendly or arrogant. I’m just learning this new concept of people coming and going.

It's Monday morning...

It’s Monday morning and it’s the start of the workweek. Two weeks into my first ever real job, I can’t really say that I’ve fully adjusted to it. I’m coping and sorta getting the hang of it but I’m still encountering so many new things that are supposed to be protocol or at least should be known by everyone in my profession.

At least I can say I’m happy with what I’m doing and with all that’s happening. I’m learning a lot from my firm and, at the same time, enjoying the experience. I don’t get too burdened with workload (at least, not yet). I can say that I get just the right amount to let me have good training as a starting lawyer. The atmosphere in the office is also very conducive to working. I don’t get too much pressure – which is good, considering my health condition. In fact, I just went to my kidney doctor last Saturday for a check-up and my laboratory results were good and stable. My doctor made the observation that my work doesn’t seem to affect my health.

I’m looking forward to many different new encounters again this week. And the week after. And the week after that…

Bottom Rung

It's hard to be the bottom rung of the ladder.

The end of the food chain.

The youngest and the most inexperienced in a professional group.

While I feel that I have gained the trust and confidence of most of the partners and my fellow associates whom I have dealt with, there's this one particular partner (who happens to be the big boss in the particular fields I am interested in) whom I feel uncomfortable working with mainly because I know he still doesn't trust me with the work I do. I'm not against all his criticisms of my work; in fact, I'm a very open-minded person. However, it's the way he makes it known to me and to others that I still don't know what exactly I am doing.

As the youngest associate in the firm, his presumption is that I will always lack something in my pleadings. I will always have grammatical errors. And there will always be a better way to put into words whatever I have written. The presumption is just always against me!

The other associates say that it's just his style of training new associates. And that I mustn't lose confidence in myself. And when he sees consistently excellent work, he does give a pat on the back and some uplifting words. And then he'll learn to trust.

I vow to work my ass off in every task he gives me and show him what I'm really made of.

I'm not just a bottom rung. I'm the bottom rung of the ladder.

A Tribute to the Real Winner of AI

Melinda Doolittle is, without doubt, the best singer of 'em all!

An Eventful First Week

In my first week of work, I already have...

• done my own pleadings, legal memos, contracts and the like (normal lawyerly stuff...)
• eaten my first attorney's fees (a binalot meal prepared by our clients)
• attended a CBA negotiation meeting with big shots
  
• gotten words of wisdom from those who have long been practicing (it's definitely good training)
  
• eaten out with all the lawyers of the firm, partners and associates alike
• semi-settled in my own room
• gotten lazy and pretended to be busy from morning til afternoon
  
• downloaded YM on my computer and chatted with friends while working
• given orders to apprentices of the firm (tasks which I was supposed to do)
  
• met with clients, both formally and informally
• learned how to evade paying for whole-day parking
  
• gone on an out-of-town trip (and actually drove going there. it was my first long distance trip wherein I drove)
  
• went on a side trip while on official business outside the office (upon the influence of another associate, of course. but i gave in easily!)
  
• dealt with armed men (around 20 of them!) and three bulldozers (peacefully, of course. we were outnumbered in terms of men and weapons)
  
• had a series of unfortunate events (like getting a hole on my pants, for instance)
• gotten attached and emotional over a case
• met some great people at work
• realized that I can actually like and do this kind of work for a long period of time, if not for the rest of my life...

It has, indeed, been an eventful first week.

My First Day of Work

Ok, so I'm at my office right now and I'm writing a legal opinion. I'm stumped coz I don't know how to solve this damn case. But i'm happy. :)

And I'm doubly happy now that I found out I can blog here in the office! (Now I just have to figure out how to use YM.)

Gotta get back to work now.

The Day I Officially Became a Lawyer

After the results of the bar exams were released a month ago and having learned that I passed the same, I still had to undergo two acts before I could officially become a lawyer. The first was our Oath taking which I attended last week. The second was the signing of the Roll of Attorneys which I did yesterday morning. Thus, i can proudly say that I am already a full-fledged member of the Philippine Bar! :)

It actually feels a bit weird, you know. And it feels particularly peculiar on two points.

First. My group of friends and I agreed to meet up a few minutes before our roll signing. We did such so that we could do our signing consecutively and thus have consecutive roll numbers as well (which, i think, we will use for the rest of our lives). I brought along with me my parents and my sister. L brought her aunt. P was with his mother and Z brought his parents as well. M was missing in action because she was abroad (in J). It felt a bit strange: here we were, a group of soon-to-be lawyers friends doing our normal crazy routines, with our parents and/or relatives on the other corner mingling with each other. It felt like we were in kindergarten. Which I believe we still are. Z brought hangers with him which L had to carry. One of the hangers eventually became part of history as it became part of our pictures. P was in his normal quiet self but every sentence he said had to have a curse which L berated. I was just there laughing my way through when my pen suddenly didn't work as I was about to sign my roll (I still believe it was Z's fault!) and smiling at every picture being taken. It certainly feels good. Moving on and yet staying the same.

Second. Everything that's been happening in my life just seems so surreal. I still can't fully take in the fact that I'm already a lawyer, albeit my health issues and my usual laziness towards studying. I can name so many people who are more deserving to become a lawyer than I. Who would have thought that this spur-of-the-moment decision I made right after college of entering law school would ultimately become my career? And the responsibility and maturity that lawyering entails! I honestly don't think I'm ready for that. What if I'm simply not cut out for it? But despite all these questions and uncertainties in my head, it does feel good to actually achieve something. It's time to move on and change for the better.


On the day I officially became I lawyer, I learned how to move on and resolve which part of me stays the same and which part of me grows.

First Glance

My two adorable baby nieces.

just a thought

i just find it funny that when you have so much time in your hands, you realize at the end of the day how little you have accomplished; but when you're pressed for time, that's when you're most productive.

"You have one week left to live..."

No, this line wasn't told to me by my kidney doctor. (God forbid!) This was just a thought that entered my mind as I have a week left before I officially become a member of the working class.

I finally accepted the offer of one of the law firms within my area last Friday. We finalized the terms of my employment and I start work as a Junior Associate on May 7, Monday. For a starting lawyer, the pay is actually quite good; and it seems like the legal training I shall receive from the firm would be excellent. The partners of the firm all seemed pleasant and reasonable. In addition, they had this certain "lawyerly" aura within them - they looked confident but not arrogant. And they had presence - I felt they were the type whom everyone would listen to when they spoke. I, of course, would want to acquire this unique aura from them.

I'm very much excited because after 25 years of existence, I would finally be able to work and earn my own keep. At the same time, I am extremely nervous and scared at the thought of it. I've never really done much legal work in the past that I can't gauge if I'll be good at it or not. What if being a lawyer isn't natural for me? What if I don't meet the expectations of my bosses? Simply put, what if I suck at work and be put to shame?

One thing's for sure: I'd definitely give it my best. I just hope it would be enough. As of now, I'm just thinking of all the personal matters that I need to attend to before I get really busy with work. And I have one week left to do all of these. I have one week left to live.

My Daily Reflection

Taken from the daily bible reflection book Didache, this entry (April 23, Monday) is very much appropriate in my life right now. It's a lesson for me and for everyone else reading this.

It's Not About Me

Whenever I pray, I ask for what I need (like a good job).
Sometimes, I ask for what I want (like a new cell phone).
And God gives it.
When He doesn't answer my prayer the way I expected (like when my friend isn't healed), I persevere in praying until my faith flickers.
I even blame Him for every bad thing that happens (like a traffic jam!).
After the fierce storm, God's wisdom comes.
I realize I cannot twist God's arm to give me what I expected.
He knows what is best for me.
What I must do is to be constant in praying so I will understand His ways.
Then, I can freely accept His will in my life through good and bad times.
It's not about me.
It's about Him.
-RosAnn J.

OMG!

i swear, anything that interferes with my eating (or anything i do orally, for that matter) has absolutely got to stop! it's just not funny anymore. please, let's make this deal: i keep my end of the bargain and you keep yours. just please make them go away. i certainly want my oral life back.

Organize my life, quote unquote

Sometimes I just feel so lazy that I lose my sense of urgency over things. I like putting things off until the last minute. If something needs to be thought over, I honestly believe that the best way to think it through is to sleep on it. And it's not just a mere nap, it should be a full 8-hour sleep (sometimes rounds of 8-hour sleeps even). If something needs to be done, I'm not the type to carefully plan each detail. I don't go about making plans days before the event. I like doing it shotgun style. But heck, it works for me and I think I've mastered the art of cramming and multitasking. No one's ever really complained of the way I handle things.

But there are times when I realize that I've just put too many things aside. All those pending tasks, important decisions, family and house matters, etc. seem to have just piled up in an instant. That's the time when I acknowledge my limits. I sit down, grab a pen and a piece of paper, think of all the things that need to be done and "organize my life."

Can you predict a personality through a person's birthdate?

Your Birthdate: June 24

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist. A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around. You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you. You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people. Your strength: Your devotion Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness Your power color: Lilac Your power symbol: Heart Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Updates, updates

Don’t you just have up days and down days? And they’re not up or down because of something that happened during the day or something that’s about to happen. At times, you feel up or down just because. During an up day, you feel like nothing’s gonna stop you from having such a good day. You just can't wipe that smile off your face and you glide instead of walk, and everyone just notices you. During a down day, you just feel heavy and discontent. You’d rather keep to yourself and you start pondering about life and love and anything that currently sucks about your existence. So you don’t need a reason to feel up or down at a particular day. And when someone’s having a down day, don’t ask why; there may be no reason. Just lend a shoulder and some Kleenex, if needed.

***

My eldest sister recently gave birth last April 8 to a darling baby girl! She gave birth at night and I had the chance to visit them the following morning already. My new niece is soooo adorable! When we were there, she just kept on yawning and sleeping. She hardly cries, only when she wants to feed or when her diapers need to be changed. She’s the second niece among our immediate family and I am indeed being dethroned as the baby of the family. I have no worries about that since I am moving on to great heights towards being a more mature individual! (Haha!) (Just a fast fact: My sister gave birth during Easter Sunday, the Resurrection of Jesus Christ; and her family name right now is Resurreccion! It was, indeed, perfect timing to give birth.)

***

A few days ago, I was so happy to see once again my group of friends from law school. Being the forced recluse that I am, I was so happy to be out of the house and to just be with the company of my closest friends. It was for business actually; we needed to go to the Supreme Court – Office of the Bar Confidante to fix our papers before we have our oath taking. What a great disappointment it was when I found out I still couldn’t attend to my papers and it was all because of their Office’s fault! I submitted all the requirements needed but apparently, they forgot to process one of them. It manifested in their records that I lacked my law transcript of grades but when they checked my folder, it was just there! Now I still need to wait until next week for me to be able to fix my papers. It was a good thing that I was just really happy to see my friends that I didn’t blow my top (at least not that much) at the Office. After all, I think that for as long as I’ll be a lawyer, I’ll still deal with them. At least now they know they owe me one. A big one.

***

After going to the Supreme Court, I went around Makati alone to give out my resume to some law firms. Since parking is such a hassle within the area, I just walked from law firm to law firm. After all, most of them were just near each other. Or so I thought. I eventually just took a cab from office to office towards the end of the afternoon! Though tiring, it was actually exciting for me. This was the first time ever that I actively tried seeking employment. And though exhausting, it was rewarding as well – one of the firms actually called up already the following day and set me up for an interview! The law office that called is actually just a small firm and I’m not too keen on working there, but at least now I know perhaps I really have something to offer to the law firms.

***

What good is an update on my life if I don’t give out a health update, right? Well, I’ve been feeling pretty normal and strong the past few weeks. I honestly feel I can already go out and party all night long! (Hehe, but I won’t.) I haven’t had anything serious for months now. Currently, I just have these really annoying singaw (thrush) and acne! Argh, these singaw really hurt at times. And what’s worse is that they sometimes hinder me from doing one of my most favorite pastimes – eating! And about the acne, I’m not really vain or anything like that, but when they grow really big, not only are they a hideous sight but they can become painful as well. And I’m not just talking about pimples on the face, they’re even on my chest and back! (Okay, have I grossed you out enough already?) =)

***

Though I just stayed at home most of the day, I actually received two surprises yesterday. The first one was a telephone call from a really close college friend of mine who’s now based in the US. It was such a surprise because I haven’t heard from him for the longest time! It was actually great reminiscing our college days and how completely laidback we were. And it’s amazing that no matter how long it has been, the friendship and the bond are still there. Pare, we’re grown-ups now! Hehe. The second surprise was a package from my aunt and her family from the US. The small box was addressed to me and they already put an “Atty.” on my name! I’m definitely not used to such designation but it felt really good. Suddenly, what was inside the box didn’t really matter. I opened it and saw two long sleeved shirts and matching neckties which looked really nice and fit me well. I immediately called up my aunt and her family to thank them for their thoughtfulness.

***

Here’s to hoping for up days for everyone just because!

Halo

I never promised you a ray of light,
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday,
I'll give you everything I have, the good, the bad.
Why do you put me on a pedestal,
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below,
So help me down you've got it wrong, I don't belong there.

One thing is clear,
I wear a halo,
I wear a halo when you look at me,
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so, if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you,
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

I always said that I would make mistakes,
I'm only human, and that's my saving grace,
I fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
See me as I really am, I have flaws and sometimes I even sin,
so pull me from that pedestal,
I don't belong there.

Why you think that you know me
But In your eyes
I am something above you
It's only in your mind
Only in your mind
I wear a Halo

-Haley James Scott

I wish you never put me on a pedestal

Now, not only do I want to walk down from it,

I want to walk out from you.

The long wait is over!

I woke up early this morning and I still can't believe it... Everything that happened last night wasn't a dream. It was all real. The hundreds of congratulatory text messages (including that first one which confirmed the news); the endless phone calls from abroad, from Isabela and from Batangas; all the mobile phone calls made and received from colleagues and special old friends; and the warm, tight hugs from my family.

I think that this is, by far, my greatest achievement to date. My friends actually keep on telling me how proud they are of me: For hurdling the bar despite all my health issues. How I lost so much time for studying because of the hours I spent each week for dialysis. How I kept myself strong and positive and focused despite all the possible distractions brought about my kidney disease. My normal reaction was to brush aside all these compliments and I’d remark that we all had our different issues to deal with.

But looking back, tears start to well up my eyes (which does not happen very often). I remember all the hardships I went through. I even thought of not taking the bar yet to attend to my health. I remember dreading the days I had to go to the hospital for dialysis not only because of the pain but more so because of the fact that I’d lose so much study time. I remember my strict no-salt diet which really sucked big time. I’d have moments when I really wanted to give up but just didn’t show it because it was not expected of me. I am but human, after all.

Now, the long wait is over and I am truly grateful for all the blessings I have received. I think that this is, by far, my greatest achievement ever.

I didn't make it...

...to the Top Ten!

Bwahaha!

I'm ecstatic right now. I actually passed the bar! I'm in a whirlwind of emotions. I can't sleep yet coz the adrenaline just keeps on rushing all through out my body. But at the same time, my mind's not exactly thinking clearly right now.

I think I'll leave this post like this first and I'll just write another one when I'm in a sounder state of mind. But for now, I just wanted to share the news - I MADE IT!

This is it...

I have been soooo calm and collected the past two weeks considering that I found out that the bar results will be out soon. But now that it's finally D day when the results are to come out, I find myself panicking and extremely nervous. I keep on fidgeting; I can't contain myself and my mind is a total blaaah. I find myself staring into space until I realize that this is it. This is really it.

asofterworld.com strips

It's All Good

I was going through a pile of paper from college when I accidentally bumped into this beautiful story. I actually don't remember when and where it was given to me but what I do remember is why I kept it: it's because it's so inspiring and so meaningful to my life. Here goes:

A king in Africa had a close friend that he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day, the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns for, after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way. As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right" he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that his happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this." "No," his friend replied, "this is good!" "What do you mean, 'this is good!' How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?" "If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you."

-end of story-


Nothing happens without reason. Everything in life is grace.

Every trial, every misfortune,

Every blessing, every surprise,

Every sickness, every woe,

Each and every single person we meet.

They aren't coincidences nor mistakes...

They're all good.

I Hope You Dance

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....i hope you dance.

An Inspirational Song (Thanks P!)

I Hope You Dance
(Lee Ann Womack)

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....i hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin might mean takin chances but they're worth takin,
Lovin might be a mistake but its worth makin,
Dont let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....i hope you dance.
I hope you dance....i hope you dance.
(time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that youll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Things that made my day...

* a random phone call * a quick power nap * an unexpected hearty meal * a rare decent chat * a good check-up * moderate traffic on a rush hour * a baby's smile * a possible solution to a long-time problem * connection * a smile on my face just before going to sleep *

It's addicting!!!

Argh, I'm getting addicted to all these types of tests. Hahaha! They're soooo fun to do!

It's destiny! (Lord, let it be destiny...)

Your Scholastic Strength Is Inspiring Others

You are great at developing a vision, and getting others to adopt your way of thinking. You are talented at leading, balancing tasks, and helping people work together. You should major in: Counseling Environmental studies Law Social work Political science Nursing

What Should You Major In?

Apple Green?!?

You Are Apple Green

You are almost super-humanly upbeat. You have a very positive energy that surrounds you. And while you are happy go lucky, you're also charmingly assertive. You get what you want, even if you have to persuade those against you to see things your way. Reflective and thoughtful, you know yourself well - and you know that you want out of life.

What Color Green Are You?

The Bar Results

Rumor has it that the Bar results will be out next week on the 29th. I honestly thought I could handle all this - the long wait, the uncertainty, the pressure. I thought I could keep myself busy with all the personal needs I have to attend to. But I was dead wrong. I've never been more scared my entire life.

The anxiety is killing me. I just want this over and done with so I can already move on with my life...

My Biggest Frustration

I've been going to the hospital every single day this week. And I must admit, it is getting kinda frustrating already. It's always just about check-ups or lab tests or another ultrasound or scan or what-have-you's. This has got to be my biggest frustration in life - the fact that I feel so normal already and yet, I still am not.

For example...

I feel like a go back to taekwondo already, but I can't - if I get kicked where my new kidney is, it might get damaged.

I feel like I can start working already, but I can't - I still have my regular check-ups to attend to.

I feel like I can go out on nightouts and gimiks already, but I can't - I shouldn't get myself too tired and I might catch and infection.

I feel like I can have sex already (!), but I can't - exchange of bodily fluids means higher chances of infection (And besides, who will I have sex with? haha).

I feel like I honestly do anything already, but I can't - it's better safe than sorry.

My American Idol Fear-ful Forecast

Yes, I am a big Idol fan especially now that I have lots of time to spare at home. I was able to watch this season right from the very start and therefore, I guess, I am entitled to present my forecast on who will be this year's American Idol. I made my ranking of the current Top 12. And although my 12th spot is already wrong - I know all of you will agree with me that my number 12 is the real number 12.

# 12 - Sanjaya Malakar - Need I say more? He should have been eliminated when they were still the Top 24. Even his hair isn't going for him anymore.

# 11 - Brandon Rogers - I honestly believe that he's got a good voice. He just lacks personality and is therefore, not Idol material.

# 10 - Haley Scarnato - She's definitely lucky that she even reached the number 10 spot. She surprisingly beat other better girl singers to the Top 12. And upon competing at the Top 12, there were other guys who were worse than her. And, contrary to what my friends say, she's not pretty and sexy.

# 9 - Phil Stacey - Though his voice can be soothing at times, Phil has the tendency to scream when he's singing. He never really stood out in the competition except during the auditions and the early part of the Top 24 when he exploited his newborn child.

# 8 - Stephanie Edwards - This R&B singer has definitely got the style and the voice. She can actually make it up to the 5th spot but in my opinion, there are other contestants who make an impression more than her.

# 7 - Blake Lewis - I honestly believe that Blake doesn't have very excellent vocals (they're just good enough), but he can stay long in the competition because he's got personality and he's unique. I actually like the beatboxing thing.

# 6 - Gina Glocksen - For some reason, I actually dig this rocker chick. Plus, she's got a powerful voice. She's different from the rest. As long as she chooses the right songs that match her voice, she can reach the Number 6 spot.

# 5 -Chris Richardson - This Justin Timberlake wannabe may not be able to replicate Justin's moves and looks but he's definitely got a style of his own. He's got a really good singing voice (I believe he's the best among the guys) but there are just other girl contestants who sing better than him.

# 4 - Lakisha Jones - Lakisha was a judges' favorite right from the very start. She's got one of the best voices in the competition alright, but she just seems like a sad and pessimistic girl. She hasn't shown much humor or wit in the competition. She could make it to the finals with just her voice, but her personality will leave her at the fourth spot.

# 3 - Chris Sligh - Though this guy doesn't have the best vocals, didn't he just make you laugh from Day One? Remember how he said he wanted to make David Hasslehoff cry at the Finals? Well, I don't believe that he'll make it to the Finals (His personality won't take him that far). But i do believe he can make it to the Number 3 spot.


# 2 - Jordin Sparks - Isn't she just so adorable and very much likable? She's bubbly and youthful; and I guess many people can relate to her. Added to that, she's got a brilliant and distinct voice (different from Lakisha's and Melinda's) which will give variety in the Finals.


# 1 - Melinda Doolittle - This W-O-M-A-N (remember her song?) is my bet to win this year's American Idol. She's got an excellent voice and is of star quality. Best of all, she's humble and all her amazement when the judges praise her performances is nothing but genuine. She's also likable and has a huge fan base early on in the competition.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

It's my mom's birthday today and she's officially a senior citizen. The whole family spent the day at Tagaytay where we heard mass, ate buffet lunch and played our family sport - bowling. It was a fun and tiring day and I could babble on everything that transpired but I'd like to dedicate this entry to, of course, the celebrant, my mom.

It's just amazing how a woman like her can attend to so many things at the same time. And these 'things' she attends to are not even her own; it's for the benefit of the entire family. I remember one time, she was busy attending to all the preparations for my transplant and at the same time she was helping out my ate move in to their new place. Furthermore, she was busy planning my niece's baptism and of course, making sure that all the chores at home are accomplished.

I am most grateful to my mom for being there for me through all my health issues. I wrote an essay about her for my Literature class when I was in my senior year in college. It actually sums up what I really want my mom to know on her birthday. Here are some parts of it:

"My whole perspective of our relationship changed when i was diagnosed to have (a kidney disease). This entailed regular medical tests and check-ups and visits to different doctors. I did not show much fear during these times; I was just not the type. But somehow, my mom sensed those fears of mine and I felt her motherly affection through constant guidance and prayers which greatly affected my life.

"My mom would accompany me on my monthly visits to my doctor. Because of my busy schedule at school, she would call and set my appointments and tests with different hospitals. She would personally pick me up at school and drive me back whenever I had medical tests. She'd even remind me to take my medicines and regularly check my blood pressure. All this she did without asking for anything in return.

"I consider my mom as the greatest hero in my life. She is my perfect example of self-donation and sacrifice. Hers is what i call authentic love which need not be said because it is already visible and felt by the one she gives it to."

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Annoying comments

Can someone please tell me how to get rid of those annoying Anonymous comments on my posts? I don't need viagra or tramadol or those freakin' porn sites (oh, are they exciting and for free?). Hehehe.

Houston, we have a problem...

Wow, has it been more than a month since i last posted on my blog? How time flies... I blame my absence on all the technical difficulties I've encountered the past month! Argh! Inter alia, I had a problem with the adaptor connection of my laptop. The PC itself was working, I just had the connection repaired with this stupid, inefficient repair shop (i guess you already know the culprit of this story!) When I got my laptop back, it worked for two days and then while I was using it, I suddenly smelled fire and there was smoke coming out of the insides of the laptop! Imagine my panic and shock!

I really should sue this repair shop. But it's not worth it. Besides, I like my new desktop and our internet connection is much faster now. I'm back and Houston, we no longer have a problem!

Have you?

Have you ever felt as if your life just suddenly came to a perfect standstill? And you’re this stranger from the outside looking in. You explore the inner depths of your soul and you realize you never really knew the person you thought yourself to be.

You then tend to see things in a different light. You change your views on your current relationships. You’re inclined towards analyzing a little more than usual. You begin to worry a bit more over the simplest of things. And you start to be anxious about the future…

So, have you ever felt as if your life just came to a perfect standstill?

I have.

Nothing’s happening.

But everything’s changing.

I, The Super Villain!

Your results:
You are Apocalypse

Apocalypse 74% Riddler 68% The Joker 65% Lex Luthor 65% Magneto 64% Dr. Doom 64% Mr. Freeze 54% Juggernaut 53% Catwoman 50% Kingpin 48% Poison Ivy 45% Mystique 45% Dark Phoenix 45% Green Goblin 41% Two-Face 41% Venom 34%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...


I just got this from a friend's blog. :)At least despite all my health issues, I still feel strong! Mwahahaha! I shall rule the world!

Welcome back, Jayps!

So, I guess I’m writing again, huh? I don’t really have any explanation for this hiatus of mine. I haven’t been that sick or disabled to be able to write on a piece of paper or type on my laptop. I had all the time in the world whip up a literary masterpiece. And though I had some problems with my internet connection, I could have just written and saved them for posting on a later date. So what’s the real reason? I really don’t know. I told a friend of mine that perhaps it’s when you have so much time in your hands that you suddenly feel so lazy and all the creative juices in you just come to a temporary halt. No matter what the real reason is, at least I’m back! :-)

SOHMA (State of My Health Address)

This entry would definitely need a proper update on my life, i.e. the state of my health. As of now, I’m definitely feeling a lot much better physically. I’m still regularly seeing my doctors for check-ups and I’m still officially ‘under observation.’ (I feel like I’m the subject of an experiment!) I had some serious bouts with all kinds of ‘pains’ last late November and early December though. I had fever, severe back pain, acne (!), stomach ache and others which I would rather not mention nor describe in this blog. (No, they have nothing to do with the reproductive organs, mind you. Clue: One concerns what I do in the CMO. Hehe!) My doctors told me they were either infections or side effects of the medicines I take. Luckily, I was spared during the Christmas season up until today from all those and I’m feeling pretty much normal again. I can go around the house now but I still can’t go out with friends. I sometimes get to go to the mall with my family but I still have to wear my facemask – something I’ve gotten used to already. So basically, I’m still a bum at home perpetually watching TV or some DVD’s when I’m bored. Thank you Wonder Years, Grey’s Anatomy, One Tree Hill, Prison Break, Twilight Zone and Early Edition for keeping me company. And I’ll keep on saying this – thank you to all you guys who have been very supportive and have been praying for me all this time. I draw the strength that I need to survive each day from all of you.

The Unfinished Song in my Head

I don’t mind all the pain
It doesn’t really matter
I don’t care how long the wait
I can see me through

What matters is I’m living
The life that I’ve been given
All I know is
That I’m taking this
Just one day at a time

And, oh, I know
Your face will show
I don’t care how long
I have to wait
I know you will see me through

I don’t mind all the pain
It doesn’t really matter…

And The Finished Song Written Some Years Back

A Better Man

Morning comes
And I gladly wake up
I get out of bed
And I eagerly wait your call
I put on my best suit
I’m filled up with attitude.
(You know why?)

*‘Coz you-- make me want to be a better man
Yes, you—make me want to be a better man
I do all these great things
I write songs only for you
Come on over embrace me
(All) My love is for you…*

And through the day
My thoughts are only for you
Through all my work
I do my best just for you
I say only kind words
I do only good deeds
(You know why?)

And nighttime comes
As I am about to sleep
I wish nothing else
But to get to talk to you

I look through my day
And I’m glad I spent it with you
My day is complete
And my life is too
(It’s simple)

(I love you, Lord
And I’m so glad that You are mine.)

(2004)

Project: Top 10

I came across a Pugad Baboy comic book given to me by my siblings for my birthday last year and it was the edition that celebrated its tenth anniversary. The comic strips were definitely hilarious, but what really caught my attention was the “Top 10” list of all the characters of Pugad Baboy scattered throughout the comics. It listed the “favorites” of each character which were just about anything under the sun. These varied from food (Kisses with almonds) to famous people (Rosanna Roces) to TV shows (Cristy Per Minute) to the most bizarre of things (smell of sautéed garlic, freshly sharpened Mongol penicls). In short these things were what represented each character – things they are particularly known for and things they value most.

Thus, I started a journey of my own Project: Top 10. And I became disappointed as soon as I found out that I could not actually list ten things which were truly ME. Most were 'sometimes' me, others were really me but 'only at a particular time'. I did what a logical person would do: I still listed all of them down (all 70+ of them!) and I set a criteria and “judged” each of these things to determine if they were indeed me. The criteria I used: How-much-I-like-you Factor 40%, Forever-likeability Factor 30%, Memories-included Factor 20%, and Representative-of-me Factor 10%.

And now, I present to you, MY TOP TEN (in no particular order):

1. Giraffes
2. Word Games
3. Starbucks Tall Hot Chocolate
4. Monster’s Inc.
5. Group Dynamics
6. Spaghetti
7. Tagaytay
8. Survivor
9. Puppies
10. Onions

If you would please let me indulge a bit, I have a few runner-ups which I would have really wanted to be included in the list but they just won’t fit. Hehe. Here are the runner-ups (again, in no particular order):

11. Flavored fries
12. My college tambayan
13. Videoke
14. Old school heavy metal
15. Grey’s Anatomy
16. Volleyball
17. Taekwondo
18. Noon time shows
19. Grey
20. Daily Mass

(written some time December 2006)

Kidneys Gone...Better (?)

(written November 11, 2006)

Roughly three weeks have passed since my kidney operation and two weeks since I got discharged from the hospital and living in exile here in my room. Though I am still under the close observation of my kidney doctor and transplant surgeon, I could say that I’m making progress in my post-operation recovery. My new kidney seems to be hyperactive such that I need comfort room breaks every now and then, but I was informed it’s better than being rejected and inactive. My laboratory tests indicate that my kidney functioning is almost normal. And my operation wound still aches a bit but not like before when I needed morphine for the pain. Thus far, I am thankful for a successful operation without any complications.

I have been living in recluse mainly because of some medicines that I take. These are my anti-rejection pills or immuno-suppressants which affect my body’s immune system or defense mechanism against sickness. It makes me very prone to infection. Thus, my doctors have advised me to stay only in my room (with the sole exception of going to the hospital for lab tests and regular consultations with my doctors), avoid too much contact with people, wear a medical face mask and maintain an utterly clean and germ-free surrounding.

Here inside my room, I am cable TV-less, internet-less, landline phone-less and in loneliness! Being a true kapamilya (and for lack of better TV shows to watch), I now regularly view the daily episodes of Game KNB?, Wowowee, TV Patrol and Deal or No Deal. I have read a number of books and thanks to the recommendation of a friend, I was captivated in the world of dragons and magic by reading the books Eragon and Eldest by Christopher Paolini. I have recently started my DVD marathons as well with the recent episodes of Grey’s Anatomy’s latest season and the first season of Prison Break. And let us not forget that I eat and sleep more nowadays.

Life has been a bit boring especially since I was used to being such an active on-the-go person before my operation. But nonetheless, I am extremely grateful and I feel especially blessed that everything's going well with my new kidney. I just read in this month's issue of Reader's Digest that, "Nearly 10,000 Filipinos with chronic kidney disease need a transplant, but fewer than ten per cent are likely to receive one." This time in solitude has actually made me appreciate life even more.

***

Immediately after my operation, I had so many thoughts on what to write in my blog. But alas, i feel that the time somehow prescribed for those thoughts of mine to be put into writing. All I have left are my surreal memories of how I went through the transplant.

Lastly, let me take this opportunity say a big THANK YOU to all those who gave their support and prayers - I definitely could not have braved the storm without you guys.