June in retrospect (Two weddings and a funeral, among others)

(This entry is actually long overdue. It remained half-finished and stored in the deep recesses of my office laptop memory until I stumbled upon it today. Considering that the entry is about the month of June and it is already the end of July, I realized the need to actually finish this entry and post it before it gets kept and forgotten once again only to find it again a month or so thereafter.)

It has actually been a pretty busy month of June. Workload was terrible; occasions and gatherings happened left and right; and personal matters just somehow always kept in the way of everything else. Thus, these last few days of June, I had a self-imposed ceasefire just to break away from all worries and concerns. And it was a time as well to look back and ponder if what keeps me busy nowadays are the things which truly matter and make me happy in my life.

Two Weddings

June is, indeed, a month of weddings. Two of my really good friends from college became June brides as they walked along the aisle on consecutive Saturdays. I guess you realize how much older you’re getting through the occasions that you attend. Life starts out with attendance at kiddie parties where what really mattered were the games and the prizes and the goodies you were gonna get. Then there’s the phase of attending your friends’ debuts and perhaps, even becoming part of the cotillion de honor. And now, when most of your friends are already working, some of them decide to settle down with their better halves and get married. Before I know it, I’d be attending baptisms and kiddie parties of my friends’ children! I feel so old already – NOT! Hehe. I actually still feel young and don’t really feel the need to rush things.

It was great because I finally had the chance to see my college barkada. I just realized I haven’t seen them since I started reviewing for the bar, which is, almost a year ago already. I just realized I never really had the chance to talk about my college barkada here in my blog. We’re actually a big group – around 20. Around a third are already abroad, a number went on to further studies (like me), most are already working in companies here and, as I just mentioned earlier, two of them recently got married. I don’t really get to see them as often as I’d want to. We all went on our different paths already. But what’s nice about it is that whenever we do get the chance to get together, it’s like reliving our college days. It’s just pure fun and laughter, and the bond remains the same.

A Funeral

I actually don’t like going to wakes and funerals. There’s some sort of fear and worry that envelops me whenever I am asked to attend such events. But I go anyways and realize thereafter that there’s actually nothing to fear of. In fact, this last wake which I attended, it gave me a chance to think about life and death and everything in between.

I know this may sound morbid, but if I were to die today, it would actually be fine by me. Seriously. No, I’m not going through a suicidal stage; neither am I already getting sick and tired of life - I never was the type. It’s just that I’m happy and contented with life right now. I always strive to be good-natured and I try my best to remain happy no matter what. Thus, if God decided to take my life today, I won’t think of the things I still wish to do and the dreams I still want to fulfill. Rather, I’d think of all the things I’ve already done and pray that these are enough to give me eternal rest. May we all learn to surrender ourselves completely through life and death and everything in between.

Work

The reason why June has been such a hectic month was because of work, work and more work. Two lawyers left our firm (one went on study leave and the other resigned) and I suddenly found myself swamped with so much caseload to handle. I’m taking on so many different cases of different natures – corporate, litigation, labor and taxation – that I don’t know if I should be glad I’m getting so much training and experience, or if I should feel overburdened with all this work.

I’ve realized that I’m actually in a love-hate relationship with my work right now. Work is something I love to hate and hate to love. At times, I feel so exhausted that I wish I didn’t have too much work. But at the same time, I know that if I didn’t have anything to do, I’d be wishing for something to get my hands on. Oh well, the ironies of life. If there’s any important realization about work that I’ve had this month of June, it is that I should learn to stop thinking of work when I get home. It gives you time to de-stress and it rejuvenates your tired body.

Family

Almost every weekend this month of June, the family was together for some event. During the long Independence Day weekend, my brother and sister and their respective spouses and babies decided to stay at home with us. The following Sunday, it was Father’s Day and so we had our usual family meal outside. The Sunday after that, it was my birthday (yipee!) and my parents’ wedding anniversary and so we went to Tagaytay to enjoy the whole day there. During two Sundays also, we experienced the joys of modern technology when we “webcammed” and “microphoned” with my brother in the US. It was our first time to try it out and well, everyone was excited and amazed at outcome.

Now that we’re all grown up and not everyone in the family stays in our house any longer, I get to appreciate the times that we are able to gather as a complete family together with the in-laws and my nieces. I guess it’s not really the fact that you stay together in one house that makes you a family, it’s the relationship with each other that’s more important.

Health

I visited my kidney doctor during the first Saturday of June. The lab results were normal and my check-up went a-ok. I’m glad things are turning out fine despite the fact that I’ve been such a busybody the previous month. I only hope that this continues until like, forever! After this check-up of mine, it was the first time that my doctor told me to return for another check-up after a month. Previously, it’s been after every two weeks; perhaps, three weeks at the longest. My doctor’s more confident of the stability of my health now, although, of course, I should always still be on the safe side. My doctor asked me if I get too pressured at work. I lied, of course. I said, “Not at all.” And then she gave me an advice I will never forget: If you get too pressured at work and your internal organs start to deteriorate again, it’s definitely not worth it. Good health is always better than career or money.

A double-edged sword

Whenever your boss gives you a piece of work of his and asks you to review it and add any comments or suggestions, if any, consider it as a double-edged sword.

OPTION A: On one hand, you ask yourself, “Should I return this work of his unscathed and free from comments except for praises on how convincing it is and how brilliant the masterpiece is?” If you decide to go for this Option, it’s either you get labeled as an ass-kisser or someone dull with no bright new ideas.

OPTION B: On the other hand, you ask yourself, “Should I give all my input or at least try to make up something worthwhile to add to the current piece of work?” If you decide to go for this Option, it’s either you get labeled as a proud and arrogant know-it-all or just plain outright disrespectful to your boss.

So go ahead and choose. Option A or B?

Happy birthday to me...

I was driving alone on my way home. The clock has struck twelve and it was officially my birthday. I was preparing myself for a gloomy day (albeit hidden) full of unsettling thoughts and complex worries. And You came along... So Thank You.

In The Sun
Michael Stipe

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
’cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can’t keep awake

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

’cause if I find
If I find my own way

How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
You

I don’t know anymore
What it’s for
I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
’cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
Any more than me

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

Thoughts on life

I guess at any stage in your life, you will always ask,

"Is it all worth it?"

And you just continue persevering until you find the answer, which, of course, you never would. That's when you realize there's never a right or wrong answer -- only consequences you have to deal with which make you ask the same question all over again. Life goes on a complete circle and you'll realize that the choices you were worrying about before weren't as significant as you thought they were.

So go ahead and live life. Certain events may be, in your opinion, not worth it. But generally, life is worth it.

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I never really thought of myself as the "dreamer" type of person, but come to think of it, I do have a lot of things I would want to fulfill in this lifetime. I likewise view everything from an optimistic point of view and nothing can stop me from seeing the good in everything. Does that make me too much of a dreamer?

Four Somethings

4 jobs I’ve had in my life
• Lawyer
• Banker
• Entrepreneur
• Male Gigolo!

4 movies I could watch over and over again
• Primal Fear
• Monsters Inc.
• Cars
• Saw

4 places I've lived
• Alabang
• Paranaque
• Rockwell, Makati
• Loyola Heights, Quezon City

4 TV Shows/Channels I love to watch
• Survivor
• Grey’s Anatomy
• Prison Break
• Deal or No Deal

4 places I've been on vacation
• Los Angeles
• Singapore
• Hong Kong
• Boracay

4 of my favorite foods
• Pasta!
• Green Salad
• Potatoes! (mashed, baked, French fried, etc.)
• chocolates

4 places I'd rather be in by now
• The Moon
• On the Kodak Theatre stage, singing my heart out in American Idol.
• Lying on the sand in Boracay while getting a full body massage.
• In bed, off to Neverland

Multi-tasking

I’ve been working on cases left and right this morning. While preparing for a meeting and studying the files of one corporate case, I am suddenly disrupted when a client calls me via landline to ask about his intellectual property case. Immediately thereafter, my big boss calls my mobile phone to inquire about the status of another corporate case and in the process, also gives me further instructions on one of my litigation cases. And these aren’t even the cases which are on my “to do list” urgently needed for today!

My big boss tells me that the “kids” of my generation are known for their exceptional multi-tasking skills. I just smile and slightly nod with approval while thinking otherwise. Us, “kids,” are exceptional in multi-tasking only when it comes to leisure. Sure, I can watch TV, talk on the phone, play with my baby nieces, send text messages, lie down to rest and listen to music all at the same time. But when it comes to work… no, I don’t think so… I need all the concentration I can get!

I better inform my big boss of the true nature of multi-tasking of “kids” these days. Just so he won’t expect too much. =)

To L (my long overdue entry)

You were L to begin with…

And perhaps the reason why I never really got to finish this post before is because it’s hard to sum up the entire sixteen years in just a few measly paragraphs.

Though I cannot, for the life of me, encapsulate those sixteen years; what I do know is that distance will never be a hindrance to our friendship and that God will always find a funny way of making our paths cross once again.

So, L, thank you for the friendship. I wish you all the best in your journey and I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Here’s to sixteen times sixteen more years of friendship!

Chasing Cars

Chasing Cars
Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Have said too much
But not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Work, work, work

While I am really overjoyed that, day after day, I am able to prove my worth in this firm; I am, at the same time, overwhelmed at the caseload that is given me. All the folders and files in my room are piling up and I just can’t seem to catch up anymore! I just hope I am able to cover everything on their required deadlines...

Not so Privileged but Principled

He may not own much but he possesses a lot.

A lot of character, a lot of good values, a lot of rationality and a lot of heart.

Despite the enemy’s despicable and underhanded tactics, he remains strong and unwavering.

And with good reason - because he is on the right side.

Let this be a lesson in life

That no matter how low your enemy gets,

And no matter how low your state of life is,

It’s not worth it to lose one’s principles.

They are more important than any material wealth.

(Remain steadfast. We’ll see this through – the lawful way.)

People come and go

Maybe that’s the reason why lately I have found myself stuck inside my own little world….

It’s hard to invest on relationships only to see them come to an end when all common ties also come to an end.

Maybe that’s why it’s better to invest big parts of your savings on a few investments that you know you can focus on and will bring enormous returns; rather than investing small parts of your savings on many investments only to find out that those little investments will soon be gone. Quality over quantity, they say.

So now, I really don’t feel the need to maintain some relationships. At least not as much as I used to. At the same time, I don’t really feel the need to gain so much more. At least I should be selective from now on.

If you see the “new” me sitting in one corner instead of mingling with everyone else, I’m not being unfriendly or arrogant. I’m just learning this new concept of people coming and going.

It's Monday morning...

It’s Monday morning and it’s the start of the workweek. Two weeks into my first ever real job, I can’t really say that I’ve fully adjusted to it. I’m coping and sorta getting the hang of it but I’m still encountering so many new things that are supposed to be protocol or at least should be known by everyone in my profession.

At least I can say I’m happy with what I’m doing and with all that’s happening. I’m learning a lot from my firm and, at the same time, enjoying the experience. I don’t get too burdened with workload (at least, not yet). I can say that I get just the right amount to let me have good training as a starting lawyer. The atmosphere in the office is also very conducive to working. I don’t get too much pressure – which is good, considering my health condition. In fact, I just went to my kidney doctor last Saturday for a check-up and my laboratory results were good and stable. My doctor made the observation that my work doesn’t seem to affect my health.

I’m looking forward to many different new encounters again this week. And the week after. And the week after that…

Bottom Rung

It's hard to be the bottom rung of the ladder.

The end of the food chain.

The youngest and the most inexperienced in a professional group.

While I feel that I have gained the trust and confidence of most of the partners and my fellow associates whom I have dealt with, there's this one particular partner (who happens to be the big boss in the particular fields I am interested in) whom I feel uncomfortable working with mainly because I know he still doesn't trust me with the work I do. I'm not against all his criticisms of my work; in fact, I'm a very open-minded person. However, it's the way he makes it known to me and to others that I still don't know what exactly I am doing.

As the youngest associate in the firm, his presumption is that I will always lack something in my pleadings. I will always have grammatical errors. And there will always be a better way to put into words whatever I have written. The presumption is just always against me!

The other associates say that it's just his style of training new associates. And that I mustn't lose confidence in myself. And when he sees consistently excellent work, he does give a pat on the back and some uplifting words. And then he'll learn to trust.

I vow to work my ass off in every task he gives me and show him what I'm really made of.

I'm not just a bottom rung. I'm the bottom rung of the ladder.

A Tribute to the Real Winner of AI

Melinda Doolittle is, without doubt, the best singer of 'em all!

An Eventful First Week

In my first week of work, I already have...

• done my own pleadings, legal memos, contracts and the like (normal lawyerly stuff...)
• eaten my first attorney's fees (a binalot meal prepared by our clients)
• attended a CBA negotiation meeting with big shots
  
• gotten words of wisdom from those who have long been practicing (it's definitely good training)
  
• eaten out with all the lawyers of the firm, partners and associates alike
• semi-settled in my own room
• gotten lazy and pretended to be busy from morning til afternoon
  
• downloaded YM on my computer and chatted with friends while working
• given orders to apprentices of the firm (tasks which I was supposed to do)
  
• met with clients, both formally and informally
• learned how to evade paying for whole-day parking
  
• gone on an out-of-town trip (and actually drove going there. it was my first long distance trip wherein I drove)
  
• went on a side trip while on official business outside the office (upon the influence of another associate, of course. but i gave in easily!)
  
• dealt with armed men (around 20 of them!) and three bulldozers (peacefully, of course. we were outnumbered in terms of men and weapons)
  
• had a series of unfortunate events (like getting a hole on my pants, for instance)
• gotten attached and emotional over a case
• met some great people at work
• realized that I can actually like and do this kind of work for a long period of time, if not for the rest of my life...

It has, indeed, been an eventful first week.

My First Day of Work

Ok, so I'm at my office right now and I'm writing a legal opinion. I'm stumped coz I don't know how to solve this damn case. But i'm happy. :)

And I'm doubly happy now that I found out I can blog here in the office! (Now I just have to figure out how to use YM.)

Gotta get back to work now.

The Day I Officially Became a Lawyer

After the results of the bar exams were released a month ago and having learned that I passed the same, I still had to undergo two acts before I could officially become a lawyer. The first was our Oath taking which I attended last week. The second was the signing of the Roll of Attorneys which I did yesterday morning. Thus, i can proudly say that I am already a full-fledged member of the Philippine Bar! :)

It actually feels a bit weird, you know. And it feels particularly peculiar on two points.

First. My group of friends and I agreed to meet up a few minutes before our roll signing. We did such so that we could do our signing consecutively and thus have consecutive roll numbers as well (which, i think, we will use for the rest of our lives). I brought along with me my parents and my sister. L brought her aunt. P was with his mother and Z brought his parents as well. M was missing in action because she was abroad (in J). It felt a bit strange: here we were, a group of soon-to-be lawyers friends doing our normal crazy routines, with our parents and/or relatives on the other corner mingling with each other. It felt like we were in kindergarten. Which I believe we still are. Z brought hangers with him which L had to carry. One of the hangers eventually became part of history as it became part of our pictures. P was in his normal quiet self but every sentence he said had to have a curse which L berated. I was just there laughing my way through when my pen suddenly didn't work as I was about to sign my roll (I still believe it was Z's fault!) and smiling at every picture being taken. It certainly feels good. Moving on and yet staying the same.

Second. Everything that's been happening in my life just seems so surreal. I still can't fully take in the fact that I'm already a lawyer, albeit my health issues and my usual laziness towards studying. I can name so many people who are more deserving to become a lawyer than I. Who would have thought that this spur-of-the-moment decision I made right after college of entering law school would ultimately become my career? And the responsibility and maturity that lawyering entails! I honestly don't think I'm ready for that. What if I'm simply not cut out for it? But despite all these questions and uncertainties in my head, it does feel good to actually achieve something. It's time to move on and change for the better.


On the day I officially became I lawyer, I learned how to move on and resolve which part of me stays the same and which part of me grows.

First Glance

My two adorable baby nieces.

just a thought

i just find it funny that when you have so much time in your hands, you realize at the end of the day how little you have accomplished; but when you're pressed for time, that's when you're most productive.