Hodgepodge of thoughts

Today was my baby niece’s baptism. It was a joyous occasion for us especially since this was the first baptism of a ‘pamangkin’ in our immediate family. Thus, everyone got involved in the preparations and the celebration. I, myself, was asked to be a godfather to the child (God bless her soul!). These are moments when I feel so old already. And these moments truly give me a sign – to move on without necessarily having to let go.

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I have a scar that reminds me I’m not normal. I look at it every now and then and it reminds me, not of pain, but of reality.

Thus, it is said, “My child, when I tell you to, ‘Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened for you,’ I do not advise you to ask, seek and knock but once or twice. Rather, I invite you to persevere. And through perseverance, the Lord grants at the right place and the right time.”

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Right after my kidney transplant, my room needs to be really clean and germ-free because my doctor told me that I would be prone to infection. Thus, I have started my mission of reorganizing my room and tidying up all my things in it for it be ready for post operation. Over the years, all the papers and folders and little belongings of mine seem to have just piled up into a huge mess on the floor and on top of my table. As I was going through my things, I realized why my things are always so messy – I like to keep little mementos of different memories and they all end up like clutter! I have kept so many ID’s, notes passed during class, pictures, cutouts from magazines, little figurines and so many others that I don’t know where to place anymore!
Perhaps sometimes, it’s hard for me to let go of things that would make me remember cherished memories. I should learn to let go of these earthly things and merely hold on to the memories that will last forever.

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Here’s a very inspirational text message that a friend sent me: (Thanks R!)

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things. Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul. Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole. Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger. Although we can’t have everything we want, we can want everything we have.