Restless

I don’t know why but I’ve been quite restless for the past few weeks. I’ve been searching for something to pacify these lingering qualms of mine but to no avail.

I’ve practically tried searching for it in all places, actually.

I’ve tried eating to my heart’s desire til I become an official glutton. I’ve tried shopping for whatever suddenly tickles my fancy at the malls. I’ve loaded myself with enough workload just to keep my busy but my mind just seems to keep on wandering and yearning for something else. I’ve gained accomplishments over the past few weeks but nothing seems to appease my soul. I’ve searched and tried all other bodily pleasures (and my, they were indeed pleasurable) but I still felt restless, sometimes even guilty, afterwards.

The problem is that I can’t pinpoint want I really want right now.

My friend, I guess you are right. At the risk of sounding too philosophical (which never really was my style), perhaps I’m just on that phase where I’m seeking my purpose. I’m actually happy, but there’s just something lacking right now. A reason for living. A sense of wholeness.

I know I’m gonna keep on searching for that something until I finally get the right one. I just hope I find it soon.