In Memoriam

IN MEMORIAM

To the best INAY in the world
(1918-2008)

I remember I was still very young, perhaps around 5 or 6 and we attended my eldest sister’s graduation from high school. The whole family was there: us, five siblings; mom and dad; and Inay and Tatay. My sister graduated with honors and my parents were seated beside her. Thus, it was Inay and Tatay who were left with us kids. Being the youngest (and yeah, yeah, the spoiled one), I was the main concern of my parents and grandparents. During that time I felt like the graduation ceremony took forever. Being the brat that I am, I began complaining of how thirsty I was. And when I said complaining – I meant the whining and griping of the worst kid you’ve ever met or seen in this planet. Yup, perhaps that was me. But my grandparents were patient. Tatay just immediately stood up and searched for a water fountain (bottled water still wasn’t invented back then – at least not where my sister had her graduation). I was left with Inay and for some reason, she was able to temper my tantrums. In fact, I remember just being hugged and I immediately grew silent. I felt comforted and soothed. Inay’s warmth and love just immediately flowed and I felt calmed and reassured. Even my parents were amazed at how Inay was able to do it.

Despite being silent already, I remember Inay giving me whatever she had in her purse – it was some Astring-o-sol candy with green and white wrapper which I still recall vividly up to this very day. She gave it to me and hoped that it will help soothe my thirst. Normally, candies would make me thirsty, but this particular one relieved me. Perhaps it was a thirst for love and attention that I was seeking. And Inay was able to supply it overwhelmingly. She’d give whatever she had just to see other people happy.

Growing up, I never got to see much of Inay and Tatay anymore for they had moved to California already. We’d only see each other when they’d come and visit the Philippines or when our family would spend a vacation in the US when we were younger. But despite the distance, Inay was still very thoughtful. Every birthday, graduation, wedding and other momentous occasions (like when I passed the bar) and even in trials (like when I had my kidney transplant operation), she was there – present in body or spirit or through the US dollars she sends!

Inay is perhaps the closest person to me who has passed away. It’s only now that I realize how difficult it is. How emotional it can get. And cliché as it may sound, how you realize that life is short and you must do or say whatever you want before it’s too late.

I am grieving. I didn’t even have the opportunity to say good bye. And thank you. And I love you.

I know you understand because of the time and the distance, but, then again, we live only once.

Good bye, Inay and I’m really gonna miss you. Thank you for that Astring-o-sol candy and that warm hug. And I love you.