Today I start working...

Today, I start working…

Today, I REALLY start working…

Today, I REALLY HAVE TO start working!!!

I guess I still have a hangover from the long holidays.

But it sure went by so fast – my brother and other relatives arriving from the US, Christmas festivities, my sister’s wedding, going home to the province and the New Year’s celebration.

I have to remind myself that it’s already back to reality – I have to become a productive member of the nation’s workforce once again. It’s just so hard – considering that since the week before the Christmas, I was going to the office but doing minimal work, i.e. the art of pretending to be busy (like right now!). I also went to the office a coupla days last week (the 26^th and the 27^th; I went on leave on the 28^th coz I got really tired from pretending to work!) but I just reported for work for compliance purposes. I went to work also yesterday, but still, nothing fruitful for that day. (Unless you’d categorize browsing through, for the first time, perezhilton.com and justjared.com - out of complete boredom and laziness, and upon the suggestion of a colleague – a mighty productive task.) It’s a good thing my bosses haven’t noticed my sluggishness, or if they already have, have not berated me for such.

So today, I have to shake myself and get myself back in the groove for working. I have so many pending tasks to accomplish… and they REALLY need to be finished…

…perhaps tomorrow!

For the meantime, blogging would have to count as one of my productive tasks for the day!

Another Me

Never mind the fact that the video's just purely scenes of Peyton in One Tree Hill. (I couldn't find any other video in YouTube that has this song in it) And never mind that the song is cut short in the end. When I heard this song, I immediately fell in love with it. Moreso when I got to read closely through the lyrics. Perhaps you can describe it as a sad song, but for me, it's a song that's full of hope for tomorrow's dreams.

(Complete lyrics being scrolled on the side of this blog. Another Me by Sister Hazel)

What i'm feeling and Where I want to be

Which answers what question... what do you think?

(Photos courtesy of www.annerpino.com)

Just like that...

another long weekend flew by once again...just like that.

it's not a matter of time wasted but the lack thereof.

now if only i can make more of it.

i understand...

Sometimes, I, too, dream of flying away to a place unknown. Where the more important thing is not what is unknown to me but that I am unknown to them.

I dream of disappearing into thin air and realizing I'm no longer in this world I've been accustomed to but rather, one yet to be explored and discovered.

I dream of starting anew and not looking back. Of moving forward and not staying put. Of fresh beginnings and acceptances and not continued pain and rejection.

I dream of these things until I realize that I still need pixie dust to fly away and a magic word to disappear into thin air.

Now if only I could think of other possible ways...

Yesterday's low

Last night while I was still in the office, I suddenly felt my whole body ache. Thus, I decided to go home and rest early. Yesterday's low was waking up at midnight feeling the scorching heat of my body and finding out that I had high fever. For me, it's one of the worst feelings ever, especially in my case, being a transplant patient.

The fever eventually subsided towards the morning and though I still felt a bit weak, I attended an important meeting in the office. One of the partners in the office who is a cancer survivor told me I was crazy for still attending the meeting. I should have just stayed at home to rest. I told him that it was something I couldn't leave behind since there were deadlines to be met. He replied that, "When it comes to your health, nothing is ever indispensable."

The meeting finished early and I headed straight home after to rest. I'm now at home just lying down in bed trying to regain my strength. I still have a slight fever and if I still don't feel well tomorrow, I think I'll just stay home again to rest. No, I SHOULD stay home to rest.

Today's High

I was in court this morning for a direct examination I was to conduct on a witness when suddenly one of the partners of the firm called me up through my mobile phone. Apparently, he also had a hearing with the same schedule as mine and he won’t be able to make it coz he was sick. Thus, he asked me to appear for him before the court and ask for a last postponement.

Now, this would normally be an easy task. However, this is one of the cases that has dragged on for years already and was initiated way back in the 90’s. Still, it was an order which I had to follow.

When the case was called, I entered my appearance and respectfully prayed for a last postponement for the hearing of the case. Naturally, the opposing counsel vehemently objected. I pleaded, of course, that my boss’ absence was not done with malice or for delay. And I tried to charm my way.

The lady judge eventually agreed to postpone and reset the case to another date. Success! I was happy enough as it is.

Then she commented, “Off the record, huli na yan ha. Ang gwapo gwapo mong abogado, sayang hindi kita makikita na mag-cross examine ng witness.”

Though I knew it was said in jest, it put a smile on my face.

And I retorted, “Your Honor, later. You’ll see me …”

The judge abruptly interrupted me saying “Sige na, next time na lang” and continued with the final order of the hearing, but I was supposed to finish my sentence with “…in action.”

What color crayon are you?

You Are a Yellow Crayon

Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors. You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius. Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way. While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme. Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

What Color Crayon Are You?

The Life is Good Series

This is mainly the reason why I found the long weekend bitin. I’ve been longing to write blog entries over the past few months now but time has always been an issue for me. Thus, I put blogging under my list of priorities during the successive holidays last week. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to finish it, thus, some sort of disappointment in myself.

But here I am now. I have so much work to do for the day but I just feel the urge to finish these entries. (Not to mention that I feel extremely lazy today!) So enjoy! And let the blogging begin!

Life is Good: The Intro

The tagline of my new “safe haven” is correct – Life IS good.

Here I am, sitting alone on my favorite spot sipping my newly-discovered drink which I fell in love with instantaneously. There are only a few people, which is good. And the servers are perfect. I used to like them extra friendly, but lately, I’ve been longing for my own personal space. Thus, knowing my drink is enough – no need for small chit chat, or knowing what I do or even knowing my name. There’s simply not enough time anymore.

Life indeed has been good to me – so many opportunities and learning experiences, continued good health, blessings in the form of friends and family, and the list just goes on.

Life is Good: Korea

The past month has been all about work for me. I’ve been spending time even during weekends to catch up with the workload I was supposed to do during the workweek (which sucks big time). I guess the luckiest break I’ve had so far was my first ever business trip: I was sent to Korea to assist a client in the negotiation and the signing of an Agreement with some Korean partners. It was a “break” in every sense of the word. It was a big break for me – an opportunity not every associate in a law firm gets to experience. It was also the break I needed from too much monotony and stress I had with work. But at the same time, it broke each and every bone in my body because I had so much to do to prepare for my trip and I had little time to accomplish them. And lastly, it sorta broke my heart, my ego and every bit of confidence I had in me, at least this was the case before the trip. I was scared, mortified even. I absolutely felt I was not ready for opportunities this big. I was the lone lawyer to go to Korea with the client who was heavily relying on me to negotiate and come up with a fair and favorable deal.

On a whole, I think my trip generally went well. We were able to finalize our negotiations and sign the Agreement on schedule. Every time I was asked some Philippine law which I wasn’t sure of, I followed my boss’ advice to just act authoritatively for they don’t know our laws! I was able to create networks in the area and I was able to gain the trust and confidence of the client I was with. My boss acknowledged the hard work I put in all of this and gave a simple reward for it.

The entire business trip was all about, well, business. No time at all for leisure and sightseeing. The only places in Seoul I saw were the offices of our Korean partners and some bars near them. And it was definitely damn tiring. When I got back, I practically slept for two whole days to catch up on sleep. Hopefully, when I go back to Korea, it won’t be all about business anymore but perhaps with a bit of pleasure on the side.

Life is Good: The Corp Guy

The main reason why I’ve been having so much workload is because I’ve officially been declared as the “corp guy” of our law firm. It has been pronounced by my fellow associates and the partners of our firm, even by my big boss (also known as the “corp partner”) who has openly declared that I will be under his wing for my training in handling corporation and taxation law cases. And I’m actually loathing every minute of it!

Don’t get me wrong, ok? I am willing and competent (enough, I think,) to take on the challenge. But the thing is, the set up I’m in right now with the firm kinda makes it difficult for me to be the new corp guy. You see, I’m the only corp associate. (One went on study leave and the other one resigned, both just a few months ago) There’s no one else handling the big corporate accounts. Whereas in other departments, there would be a senior associate who would be able to guide the junior associate, in my case, I have no one to go to except for my big boss-corp partner! And it’s not as if I have so much knowledge already on the workings of corporate cases. In fact, I still have so much to learn. I can’t easily approach my big boss for questions without researching on my own first, and this makes me rather slow in accomplishing my work tasks.

I should actually be happy I’ve been given this opportunity. It’s fast-tracking my training in the firm. I just hope I get to finish my training already before I get too burned out from all the work I’m being given.

Life is Good: Happy Anniversary, Kidney 3!

Time really passes by so quickly. Last October 23, 2007 was the first anniversary of my kidney transplant operation! I can’t believe it’s been a year already. And to think that after my operation, I was scared of the possibility that my recuperation period might take up to a year. But here I am, a practicing lawyer living a fast-paced lifestyle with no hints of a previous major operation, save for a scar below my stomach just above my right thigh.

I haven’t been too complacent though. I’m regularly taking my medicines – I need them to survive. I’m more careful now with my diet and I no longer have any vices. I’m thankful to the Lord for this “new life” I have been given. My lab results have been stable at normal levels for some months now. The other procedures (chest x-ray, ECG, ultrasound, etc.) are A-OK as well. I’m praying that this continues for the rest of my life!

Happy Anniversary, Kidney 3! I’m glad you came into my life (and my body)!

Life is Good: Friends

Despite my hectic schedule, I’ve been trying my best to keep in touch with my really close friends. In the middle of one busy workweek, I went out for dinner with my really close law school friends. I really made time for that because I told myself I just got to go out and get away from it all. I try my best to keep in touch with my good friends abroad. With the internet and the possible ways of communication, there’s just no excuse anymore for losing contact. My college friends are always a part of my schedule as well. I truly believe that our group will be a constant already in my life. And there are those individuals who have truly made a mark in my life whom I am thankful for. Time nor distance hinders true friendship.

I told an acquaintance of mine once that friends are worth more than anything in this world, and is definitely worth more than work. It’s better to lose work than to lose a friend. Work can easily be replaced but friends can never be substituted. I still stand by my belief. That’s the main reason why I try my best to communicate with them occasionally. I no longer go out to meet friends in order to socialize, I go out with them to reaffirm and strengthen bonds.

Life is Good: Family

I am so getting older. Though the youngest among five children in my family, that’s what I feel whenever I am with them. My brother and sister and their respective families went to stay at our home (“with the parents”) during the holidays. They brought with them my baby nieces who went on trick or treating last Halloween in their cute fairy costumes. I remember my own trick or treating days with my childhood friends and how those days just seemed to pass by.

And the topics of conversation! I was used to being the comic relief during serious conversations, whether it be about current events or major family decisions. Lately, it seems like my opinions actually matter already.

I sincerely love my family. And it’s not something I say out loud often. It may not be perfect but it’s definitely something I would never ever replace.

Life is Good: The Conclusion

A friend of mine once told me that people’s problems and issues can be bunched up into two categories: 1.) time issues, and 2.) money issues. I thought about it and it’s so true.

I don’t have much time to do everything I want to do in life. I wish I can actually create more time. And financial concerns will always be there. Maybe not now, but there will always be monetary concerns for the future like “Am I saving up enough?” or “Should I switch jobs even though the salary is lower?”

But despite whatever issues, concerns or problems, I still believe that life IS good. Count your blessings. And face your challenges. Life is always worth living.

Just around the corner

On my drive home, I noticed that the radio stations have started their ensemble of Christmas songs. While I have heard a couple or so of these songs since the "ber" months started, it was only now that there was suddenly a barrage of them. As I thought about this, the DJ pointed out that there are only 49 days left 'til Christmas! It sorta uplifts your spirit knowing that the season of merry-making and gift-giving is just around the corner. To top it all off, the Skyway has already put up its parade of lanterns on its lampposts. Normally, I find them ordinary, if not just a waste of electricity. But for some reason, tonight, these twinkling and glittering lights put a smile on my face. Maybe it's the amalgamation of all these Christmassy experiences of mine. Christmas is, indeed, just around the corner! Finally, something to look forward to.

bitin

It's the Monday after the long weekend. With (supposedly) just a day and a half of work last week, it's definitely hard to drag my ass back to the office today knowing that there are deadlines to be met, clients to be pacified and partners to please.

I tried my damn best to carefully plan out my long weekend (in my own words, "I organized my life"). I carefully listed down everything I needed to do and have been wanting to do but just never had the time for it. Then, I made my own schedule and promised to myself I'd follow it down to the last detail.

I'd like to think I set my priorities well -- I set time for really good friends whom I haven't seen in ages, I made time for my family and spent precious time while on the dinner table, I gave time for myself - a luxury which I haven't had much of the past few months. (Did you notice work was not among my priorities? hehe)

I did get to follow my schedule. Sort of...

It's just that I still have so many other things I want to accomplish. The long weekend ended with dissatisfaction on my part. I still had things on my to-do list which were left not crossed out. The long weekend was definitely bitin.

I'm keeping my to-do list and I'm making it a constant reminder that I have to make time for the more important things in life.

...

kismet giveth,
and kismet taketh away...
(at least not completely).
still,
it's kismet.

You're right, it's Kismet

Your Guardian Angel
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

When I see your smile
Tears roll down my face
I can't replace

And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know Ill find deep inside me, I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
Ill be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Its ok, Its ok, Its ok

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cause you're my
You're my
My true love
My whole heart
Please don't throw that away

Cause I'm here, for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay...

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know Ill be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

beauty

"You don't love someone because they're beautiful. People are lovely because you love them and not the other way around."

Larger than I...

call me weak,
call me foolish.
but i
am simply not ready
for things
larger than i...

korea

my family, friends and co-workers tell me i should be thankful. which i am, of course.

i'm just really scared out of my wits.

i tell them i really don't want to go. and the normal response would be that most young lawyers would die for an opportunity like this.

well, it's as if i had the choice right?

i just have to take on the challenge. prepare myself well for the battle.

read up. study. understand. memorize. practice. analyze. take off. and perhaps let go...

Avenue Q Fever

I had the chance to watch Avenue Q last Saturday and while I may not be the best critic of theater plays, I must say that it is definitely the best play I have ever watched in my lifetime. Everything was just picture perfect – from the acting to the singing and the handling of the puppets; from the script itself to the songs and their lyrics and background music; from the props and the simple backdrop down to the each and every technical aspect of the play. It was definitely superb and I got every penny’s worth I spent on the ticket.

I have already heard all the songs of Avenue Q even before I watched the play. Just listening to the songs is entertaining in itself. You also get to know a bit about the characters already and you get a clue as to the entire story of the play. However, when I watched the play, it was different seeing the actors portray their roles so convincingly. I got to see the entire picture and though I already knew some of the punchlines based on the songs, I still laughed my heart out whenever they were delivered because it’s different when the actors or the puppets bring them to life.

All of the actors had outstanding performances. I couldn’t really pinpoint who excelled the most during the play, but I am all praises for Rachel Alejandro, Felix Rivera and Joel Trinidad for their excellent and versatile performances. I couldn’t imagine portraying two or more roles/puppets (sometimes even with contrasting personalities as in the case of Rachel A.) and getting into character right away. There were even times when both of their characters were on stage and conversing. Kudos also goes to Frenchie Dy who, though a newcomer to the theater, played her role convincingly and was indeed, funny all throughout the play.

It’s sad that the showing of the play will end this weekend. Right after watching the play, I immediately texted some friends of mine and prodded them to watch Avenue Q, but apparently, the Avenue Q fever has already spread because tickets are already sold out for this last weekend! I’m pretty sure there’ll be public clamor to have a restaging of this play!

AVENUE Q is the story of Princeton, a bright-eyed college grad who comes to New York City with big dreams and a tiny bank account. He soon discovers that the only neighborhood in his price range is Avenue Q; still, the neighbors seem nice. There's Brian the out-of-work comedian and his therapist fiancée Christmas Eve; Nicky the good-hearted slacker and his roommate Rod --a Republican investment banker who seems to have some sort of secret; an Internet addict called Trekkie Monster; and a very cute kindergarten teaching assistant named Kate. And would you believe the building's superintendent is Gary Coleman?!? (Yes, that Gary Coleman.) But not all the people on Avenue Q are human and perhaps that explains some of their unusual warmth. No, these non-humans aren't aliens trying to take over the world with their unusually affable behavior. They are puppets – much like you'd see on Sesame Street. Together, Princeton and his newfound friends struggle to find jobs, dates, and their ever-elusive purpose in life.

The music in Avenue Q finds a happy medium between childishly fun and adult up beat, on the jazzy side. The numbers aren’t huge productions, but they’re all catchy, honest and heartfelt without any sweaty “take-your-breath-away” dancing. That’s not to say these songs won’t get you excited, because they absolutely will – but with their humor! How could you not laugh at a song called “It Sucks to be Me” or “If You Were Gay”? What these songs do is take real-life concepts and observances, and relates them in a comic way – without ever becoming condescending and while remaining simplistic. And, as all good comedy contains enough reality to make it ring true, it’s no surprise that you’ll find yourself laughing out loud at almost every twist and turn of the story.

(Taken from http://www.ticketworld.com.ph/events/default.asp?event_name=Avenue%20Q)

Time

While I am glad that my days of work still don’t drag on for me, i.e. I start work on Monday and in the blink of an eye, it’s already the end of the workweek; I feel a bit sad and disappointed that time flies so fast during weekends as well. There’s just not enough time to do all the leisurely activities planned for the weekend. You just can’t fit all you want to do in 48 or so hours. There’s no time for oversleeping, going out with your friends, eating to your heart’s desire, reading the books you’ve bought the past month, chatting with a long lost friend, watching a movie or your favorite TV shows, surfing the net, blogging, fixing your room, etc., etc.

Recently, I have been engaging in wise talk with a co-counsel. He’s 72 years old and still active in the practice. He’s still very sharp and wise despite his age, he appears very statesman-like and has a very fatherly image. I look up to him for advice regarding the law and my career.

One time he asked me, “If you were given just one wish to have anything, tangible or otherwise, what would it be?”

I was quick with my answer, “Good health.” I thought of all my limitations because of my kidney disease and was satisfied with my reply.

“How about you, sir?” I asked.

“I was eleven when I first answered that question. It’s definitely time. More time to accomplish the things I need to do and those I want to do.”

I was definitely in awe with his answer. It trumps everything else. With more time, I can achieve all my goals despite any limitations I have in my life.

And with that, I was once again quick with my response, “Sir, can I change my answer?”

Leadership

"It is a curious thing, Harry, that perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

-Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Stronger...

...i honestly feel i am.

i just hope i don't push myself to the limit,

and find myself back to where i started.

www.mypersonality.info

Myers-Briggs Personality Types

ENFP: The "Advocate"

ENFPs are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.

Real ENFP People:

Alicia Silverstone, Bill Cosby, Bob Dylan, Charles Dickens, Dr. Seuss, Franz Joseph Haydn, Martin Short, Phil Donahue, Regis Philbin, Robin William, Sandra Bullock, Sinbad

ENFP Population

Total: 5.5%
Male: 4.5%
Female: 6.5%

Lazy days...

It's pouring heavily outside. This cool and soothing weather is perfect for staying in bed all day and snuggling up with your pillows and sheets (for lack of a warm body to hug. hehe)

It's a Friday - it's the end of the week and tomorrow's the start of a long weekend, Monday being a holiday).

Ah! It's a perfect day for procrastination!

I'm going home!

I know it's weird, but for the past two weeks or so, I've been playing this song on my drive home from work. I play it the second I get to our village gate and the song ends in perfect timing - when I actually do get home and park my car on our garage. From such a busy and tiring day at work, I enjoy listening to this song (and singing with it at the top of my voice). It releases all the stress and anxiety brought by work and makes me forget about them when I do get to the place where I belong, and where my family's love has always been enough for me -- HOME.

"Home"
by: Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Restless

I don’t know why but I’ve been quite restless for the past few weeks. I’ve been searching for something to pacify these lingering qualms of mine but to no avail.

I’ve practically tried searching for it in all places, actually.

I’ve tried eating to my heart’s desire til I become an official glutton. I’ve tried shopping for whatever suddenly tickles my fancy at the malls. I’ve loaded myself with enough workload just to keep my busy but my mind just seems to keep on wandering and yearning for something else. I’ve gained accomplishments over the past few weeks but nothing seems to appease my soul. I’ve searched and tried all other bodily pleasures (and my, they were indeed pleasurable) but I still felt restless, sometimes even guilty, afterwards.

The problem is that I can’t pinpoint want I really want right now.

My friend, I guess you are right. At the risk of sounding too philosophical (which never really was my style), perhaps I’m just on that phase where I’m seeking my purpose. I’m actually happy, but there’s just something lacking right now. A reason for living. A sense of wholeness.

I know I’m gonna keep on searching for that something until I finally get the right one. I just hope I find it soon.

My Daemon

I just nicked this from Pd and I must admit, it's pretty damn interesting.

Lately

Lately, I’ve been finding myself all by my lonesome with only my pen and paper and the voice inside my head for company, and actually enjoying every moment of it. I go out and eat alone without any hesitation whatsoever, whether it be in a crowded place or in a secluded restaurant. I find myself strolling around the mall without any company and choosing a coffee shop or a restaurant or even a book store to have a quick stop over. If the place I choose is conducive and to my liking, I find myself staying for a longer period of time just pondering about the smallest of things to the bigger burdens I’m currently facing.

It’s weird, I know. Me, of all people, on the way towards becoming a full-fledged loner!

Perhaps, it’s the busy lifestyle I’m currently having right now – such that, whenever I have the opportunity to have a little peace and tranquility, I grab it right away and make the most out of it. Or maybe it’s an offshoot of months of having minimal contact with people during my post-kidney transplant recovery period. I really don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m actually yearning for more time all by myself. I’ve actually been looking for the place.

The place where I can sit down comfortably and not care about the entire universe. The place where I can think of all my desires and even my concerns and issues, and not worry one single bit. The place where I can be me – with no one around to judge or react or criticize.

It’s weird, I know. But I’m actually liking this other side of me.

In just three words...

Use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less. It's harder than you think.

1. Where is your cell phone? - STONE’S THROW AWAY
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? -SOON TO COME (pwede ring IN MY DREAMS)
3. Your hair? – NEEDS A HAIRCUT
4. Where is your father? UPSTAIRS IN DREAMLAND
5.Cheesecake? – MADE OF CHEESE
6. Your favorite thing to do? – SLEEP ALL DAY
7. Your dream last night? – CAN’T REALLY REMEMBER
8. Your favorite drink? – ICED TEA, PLEASE
9. Car You Want? – MY OWN VOLVO
10. The room you're in? – OFFICE SLASH DEN
11. George Bush: SHOULD BE REPLACED
12. Your fears? BECOMING TOO FAMOUS (haha!)
13. Nipple rings? DON’T THEY HURT?
14. Who would you hang out with tonight? MY THREE PILLOWS
15. What you're not good at? CRAZY SURVEYS THAT (limit your answers to only three f*cking words!)
16. Go check GoofyAuctions.com and give your opinion? CHECK IT YOURSELF!
17. One of your wish list items? PERFECTLY STABLE HEALTH
18. Where did you grow up? IN THE METRO
19. The last thing you did? CHECK MY E-MAIL
20. What are you wearing? OOH, YOU’RE NAUGHTY
21. Tattoo? – NONE RIGHT NOW
22. Ketchup? – NO, THANK YOU
23. Your computer? – STILL A COMPUTER
24. Your life? – BUSY WITH WORK
25. Your mood? – I’M JUST CHILLIN’
26. Missing? – MY FRIENDS ABROAD
27. What are you thinking about right now? – CAN’T WAIT TOGETTHISOVERWITH!
28. Your summer? – WAS TOO HOT
29. Your relationship status? – SINGLE AND AVAILABLE
30. Your favorite color(s)- GREY AND BLUE
31. When was the last time you laughed? – I ALWAYS DO
32. Last time you cried? – LONG TIME AGO
33. High school? – PART OF HISTORY
34. Who's your crush? – WHO IS YOURS?
35. Music you're listening to? – HOME BY DAUGHTRY

prci

For the life of me, I would never ever forget this baptism of fire of mine…

…where there’s no such thing as free journalism, even news articles have a price.

…where there’s always office politics no matter where you go.

…where judges don’t care if it’s obvious that they’re impartial, as long as they get their end of the deal.

…where being the lone associate in a team (the rest being partners) is both a reward and a curse.

…where you get a lot of first times for everything.

…where you finally get to show off your suits and eat at fancy restos.

…where learning is an ongoing process and you actually begin to love it.

…where you finally get the chance to prove your worth to the firm and succeed.

You get me through the day

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

June in retrospect (Two weddings and a funeral, among others)

(This entry is actually long overdue. It remained half-finished and stored in the deep recesses of my office laptop memory until I stumbled upon it today. Considering that the entry is about the month of June and it is already the end of July, I realized the need to actually finish this entry and post it before it gets kept and forgotten once again only to find it again a month or so thereafter.)

It has actually been a pretty busy month of June. Workload was terrible; occasions and gatherings happened left and right; and personal matters just somehow always kept in the way of everything else. Thus, these last few days of June, I had a self-imposed ceasefire just to break away from all worries and concerns. And it was a time as well to look back and ponder if what keeps me busy nowadays are the things which truly matter and make me happy in my life.

Two Weddings

June is, indeed, a month of weddings. Two of my really good friends from college became June brides as they walked along the aisle on consecutive Saturdays. I guess you realize how much older you’re getting through the occasions that you attend. Life starts out with attendance at kiddie parties where what really mattered were the games and the prizes and the goodies you were gonna get. Then there’s the phase of attending your friends’ debuts and perhaps, even becoming part of the cotillion de honor. And now, when most of your friends are already working, some of them decide to settle down with their better halves and get married. Before I know it, I’d be attending baptisms and kiddie parties of my friends’ children! I feel so old already – NOT! Hehe. I actually still feel young and don’t really feel the need to rush things.

It was great because I finally had the chance to see my college barkada. I just realized I haven’t seen them since I started reviewing for the bar, which is, almost a year ago already. I just realized I never really had the chance to talk about my college barkada here in my blog. We’re actually a big group – around 20. Around a third are already abroad, a number went on to further studies (like me), most are already working in companies here and, as I just mentioned earlier, two of them recently got married. I don’t really get to see them as often as I’d want to. We all went on our different paths already. But what’s nice about it is that whenever we do get the chance to get together, it’s like reliving our college days. It’s just pure fun and laughter, and the bond remains the same.

A Funeral

I actually don’t like going to wakes and funerals. There’s some sort of fear and worry that envelops me whenever I am asked to attend such events. But I go anyways and realize thereafter that there’s actually nothing to fear of. In fact, this last wake which I attended, it gave me a chance to think about life and death and everything in between.

I know this may sound morbid, but if I were to die today, it would actually be fine by me. Seriously. No, I’m not going through a suicidal stage; neither am I already getting sick and tired of life - I never was the type. It’s just that I’m happy and contented with life right now. I always strive to be good-natured and I try my best to remain happy no matter what. Thus, if God decided to take my life today, I won’t think of the things I still wish to do and the dreams I still want to fulfill. Rather, I’d think of all the things I’ve already done and pray that these are enough to give me eternal rest. May we all learn to surrender ourselves completely through life and death and everything in between.

Work

The reason why June has been such a hectic month was because of work, work and more work. Two lawyers left our firm (one went on study leave and the other resigned) and I suddenly found myself swamped with so much caseload to handle. I’m taking on so many different cases of different natures – corporate, litigation, labor and taxation – that I don’t know if I should be glad I’m getting so much training and experience, or if I should feel overburdened with all this work.

I’ve realized that I’m actually in a love-hate relationship with my work right now. Work is something I love to hate and hate to love. At times, I feel so exhausted that I wish I didn’t have too much work. But at the same time, I know that if I didn’t have anything to do, I’d be wishing for something to get my hands on. Oh well, the ironies of life. If there’s any important realization about work that I’ve had this month of June, it is that I should learn to stop thinking of work when I get home. It gives you time to de-stress and it rejuvenates your tired body.

Family

Almost every weekend this month of June, the family was together for some event. During the long Independence Day weekend, my brother and sister and their respective spouses and babies decided to stay at home with us. The following Sunday, it was Father’s Day and so we had our usual family meal outside. The Sunday after that, it was my birthday (yipee!) and my parents’ wedding anniversary and so we went to Tagaytay to enjoy the whole day there. During two Sundays also, we experienced the joys of modern technology when we “webcammed” and “microphoned” with my brother in the US. It was our first time to try it out and well, everyone was excited and amazed at outcome.

Now that we’re all grown up and not everyone in the family stays in our house any longer, I get to appreciate the times that we are able to gather as a complete family together with the in-laws and my nieces. I guess it’s not really the fact that you stay together in one house that makes you a family, it’s the relationship with each other that’s more important.

Health

I visited my kidney doctor during the first Saturday of June. The lab results were normal and my check-up went a-ok. I’m glad things are turning out fine despite the fact that I’ve been such a busybody the previous month. I only hope that this continues until like, forever! After this check-up of mine, it was the first time that my doctor told me to return for another check-up after a month. Previously, it’s been after every two weeks; perhaps, three weeks at the longest. My doctor’s more confident of the stability of my health now, although, of course, I should always still be on the safe side. My doctor asked me if I get too pressured at work. I lied, of course. I said, “Not at all.” And then she gave me an advice I will never forget: If you get too pressured at work and your internal organs start to deteriorate again, it’s definitely not worth it. Good health is always better than career or money.

A double-edged sword

Whenever your boss gives you a piece of work of his and asks you to review it and add any comments or suggestions, if any, consider it as a double-edged sword.

OPTION A: On one hand, you ask yourself, “Should I return this work of his unscathed and free from comments except for praises on how convincing it is and how brilliant the masterpiece is?” If you decide to go for this Option, it’s either you get labeled as an ass-kisser or someone dull with no bright new ideas.

OPTION B: On the other hand, you ask yourself, “Should I give all my input or at least try to make up something worthwhile to add to the current piece of work?” If you decide to go for this Option, it’s either you get labeled as a proud and arrogant know-it-all or just plain outright disrespectful to your boss.

So go ahead and choose. Option A or B?

Happy birthday to me...

I was driving alone on my way home. The clock has struck twelve and it was officially my birthday. I was preparing myself for a gloomy day (albeit hidden) full of unsettling thoughts and complex worries. And You came along... So Thank You.

In The Sun
Michael Stipe

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
’cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can’t keep awake

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

’cause if I find
If I find my own way

How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
You

I don’t know anymore
What it’s for
I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
’cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
Any more than me

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

Thoughts on life

I guess at any stage in your life, you will always ask,

"Is it all worth it?"

And you just continue persevering until you find the answer, which, of course, you never would. That's when you realize there's never a right or wrong answer -- only consequences you have to deal with which make you ask the same question all over again. Life goes on a complete circle and you'll realize that the choices you were worrying about before weren't as significant as you thought they were.

So go ahead and live life. Certain events may be, in your opinion, not worth it. But generally, life is worth it.

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I never really thought of myself as the "dreamer" type of person, but come to think of it, I do have a lot of things I would want to fulfill in this lifetime. I likewise view everything from an optimistic point of view and nothing can stop me from seeing the good in everything. Does that make me too much of a dreamer?

Four Somethings

4 jobs I’ve had in my life
• Lawyer
• Banker
• Entrepreneur
• Male Gigolo!

4 movies I could watch over and over again
• Primal Fear
• Monsters Inc.
• Cars
• Saw

4 places I've lived
• Alabang
• Paranaque
• Rockwell, Makati
• Loyola Heights, Quezon City

4 TV Shows/Channels I love to watch
• Survivor
• Grey’s Anatomy
• Prison Break
• Deal or No Deal

4 places I've been on vacation
• Los Angeles
• Singapore
• Hong Kong
• Boracay

4 of my favorite foods
• Pasta!
• Green Salad
• Potatoes! (mashed, baked, French fried, etc.)
• chocolates

4 places I'd rather be in by now
• The Moon
• On the Kodak Theatre stage, singing my heart out in American Idol.
• Lying on the sand in Boracay while getting a full body massage.
• In bed, off to Neverland

Multi-tasking

I’ve been working on cases left and right this morning. While preparing for a meeting and studying the files of one corporate case, I am suddenly disrupted when a client calls me via landline to ask about his intellectual property case. Immediately thereafter, my big boss calls my mobile phone to inquire about the status of another corporate case and in the process, also gives me further instructions on one of my litigation cases. And these aren’t even the cases which are on my “to do list” urgently needed for today!

My big boss tells me that the “kids” of my generation are known for their exceptional multi-tasking skills. I just smile and slightly nod with approval while thinking otherwise. Us, “kids,” are exceptional in multi-tasking only when it comes to leisure. Sure, I can watch TV, talk on the phone, play with my baby nieces, send text messages, lie down to rest and listen to music all at the same time. But when it comes to work… no, I don’t think so… I need all the concentration I can get!

I better inform my big boss of the true nature of multi-tasking of “kids” these days. Just so he won’t expect too much. =)

To L (my long overdue entry)

You were L to begin with…

And perhaps the reason why I never really got to finish this post before is because it’s hard to sum up the entire sixteen years in just a few measly paragraphs.

Though I cannot, for the life of me, encapsulate those sixteen years; what I do know is that distance will never be a hindrance to our friendship and that God will always find a funny way of making our paths cross once again.

So, L, thank you for the friendship. I wish you all the best in your journey and I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Here’s to sixteen times sixteen more years of friendship!

Chasing Cars

Chasing Cars
Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Have said too much
But not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Work, work, work

While I am really overjoyed that, day after day, I am able to prove my worth in this firm; I am, at the same time, overwhelmed at the caseload that is given me. All the folders and files in my room are piling up and I just can’t seem to catch up anymore! I just hope I am able to cover everything on their required deadlines...

Not so Privileged but Principled

He may not own much but he possesses a lot.

A lot of character, a lot of good values, a lot of rationality and a lot of heart.

Despite the enemy’s despicable and underhanded tactics, he remains strong and unwavering.

And with good reason - because he is on the right side.

Let this be a lesson in life

That no matter how low your enemy gets,

And no matter how low your state of life is,

It’s not worth it to lose one’s principles.

They are more important than any material wealth.

(Remain steadfast. We’ll see this through – the lawful way.)

People come and go

Maybe that’s the reason why lately I have found myself stuck inside my own little world….

It’s hard to invest on relationships only to see them come to an end when all common ties also come to an end.

Maybe that’s why it’s better to invest big parts of your savings on a few investments that you know you can focus on and will bring enormous returns; rather than investing small parts of your savings on many investments only to find out that those little investments will soon be gone. Quality over quantity, they say.

So now, I really don’t feel the need to maintain some relationships. At least not as much as I used to. At the same time, I don’t really feel the need to gain so much more. At least I should be selective from now on.

If you see the “new” me sitting in one corner instead of mingling with everyone else, I’m not being unfriendly or arrogant. I’m just learning this new concept of people coming and going.

It's Monday morning...

It’s Monday morning and it’s the start of the workweek. Two weeks into my first ever real job, I can’t really say that I’ve fully adjusted to it. I’m coping and sorta getting the hang of it but I’m still encountering so many new things that are supposed to be protocol or at least should be known by everyone in my profession.

At least I can say I’m happy with what I’m doing and with all that’s happening. I’m learning a lot from my firm and, at the same time, enjoying the experience. I don’t get too burdened with workload (at least, not yet). I can say that I get just the right amount to let me have good training as a starting lawyer. The atmosphere in the office is also very conducive to working. I don’t get too much pressure – which is good, considering my health condition. In fact, I just went to my kidney doctor last Saturday for a check-up and my laboratory results were good and stable. My doctor made the observation that my work doesn’t seem to affect my health.

I’m looking forward to many different new encounters again this week. And the week after. And the week after that…

Bottom Rung

It's hard to be the bottom rung of the ladder.

The end of the food chain.

The youngest and the most inexperienced in a professional group.

While I feel that I have gained the trust and confidence of most of the partners and my fellow associates whom I have dealt with, there's this one particular partner (who happens to be the big boss in the particular fields I am interested in) whom I feel uncomfortable working with mainly because I know he still doesn't trust me with the work I do. I'm not against all his criticisms of my work; in fact, I'm a very open-minded person. However, it's the way he makes it known to me and to others that I still don't know what exactly I am doing.

As the youngest associate in the firm, his presumption is that I will always lack something in my pleadings. I will always have grammatical errors. And there will always be a better way to put into words whatever I have written. The presumption is just always against me!

The other associates say that it's just his style of training new associates. And that I mustn't lose confidence in myself. And when he sees consistently excellent work, he does give a pat on the back and some uplifting words. And then he'll learn to trust.

I vow to work my ass off in every task he gives me and show him what I'm really made of.

I'm not just a bottom rung. I'm the bottom rung of the ladder.

A Tribute to the Real Winner of AI

Melinda Doolittle is, without doubt, the best singer of 'em all!

An Eventful First Week

In my first week of work, I already have...

• done my own pleadings, legal memos, contracts and the like (normal lawyerly stuff...)
• eaten my first attorney's fees (a binalot meal prepared by our clients)
• attended a CBA negotiation meeting with big shots
  
• gotten words of wisdom from those who have long been practicing (it's definitely good training)
  
• eaten out with all the lawyers of the firm, partners and associates alike
• semi-settled in my own room
• gotten lazy and pretended to be busy from morning til afternoon
  
• downloaded YM on my computer and chatted with friends while working
• given orders to apprentices of the firm (tasks which I was supposed to do)
  
• met with clients, both formally and informally
• learned how to evade paying for whole-day parking
  
• gone on an out-of-town trip (and actually drove going there. it was my first long distance trip wherein I drove)
  
• went on a side trip while on official business outside the office (upon the influence of another associate, of course. but i gave in easily!)
  
• dealt with armed men (around 20 of them!) and three bulldozers (peacefully, of course. we were outnumbered in terms of men and weapons)
  
• had a series of unfortunate events (like getting a hole on my pants, for instance)
• gotten attached and emotional over a case
• met some great people at work
• realized that I can actually like and do this kind of work for a long period of time, if not for the rest of my life...

It has, indeed, been an eventful first week.

My First Day of Work

Ok, so I'm at my office right now and I'm writing a legal opinion. I'm stumped coz I don't know how to solve this damn case. But i'm happy. :)

And I'm doubly happy now that I found out I can blog here in the office! (Now I just have to figure out how to use YM.)

Gotta get back to work now.

The Day I Officially Became a Lawyer

After the results of the bar exams were released a month ago and having learned that I passed the same, I still had to undergo two acts before I could officially become a lawyer. The first was our Oath taking which I attended last week. The second was the signing of the Roll of Attorneys which I did yesterday morning. Thus, i can proudly say that I am already a full-fledged member of the Philippine Bar! :)

It actually feels a bit weird, you know. And it feels particularly peculiar on two points.

First. My group of friends and I agreed to meet up a few minutes before our roll signing. We did such so that we could do our signing consecutively and thus have consecutive roll numbers as well (which, i think, we will use for the rest of our lives). I brought along with me my parents and my sister. L brought her aunt. P was with his mother and Z brought his parents as well. M was missing in action because she was abroad (in J). It felt a bit strange: here we were, a group of soon-to-be lawyers friends doing our normal crazy routines, with our parents and/or relatives on the other corner mingling with each other. It felt like we were in kindergarten. Which I believe we still are. Z brought hangers with him which L had to carry. One of the hangers eventually became part of history as it became part of our pictures. P was in his normal quiet self but every sentence he said had to have a curse which L berated. I was just there laughing my way through when my pen suddenly didn't work as I was about to sign my roll (I still believe it was Z's fault!) and smiling at every picture being taken. It certainly feels good. Moving on and yet staying the same.

Second. Everything that's been happening in my life just seems so surreal. I still can't fully take in the fact that I'm already a lawyer, albeit my health issues and my usual laziness towards studying. I can name so many people who are more deserving to become a lawyer than I. Who would have thought that this spur-of-the-moment decision I made right after college of entering law school would ultimately become my career? And the responsibility and maturity that lawyering entails! I honestly don't think I'm ready for that. What if I'm simply not cut out for it? But despite all these questions and uncertainties in my head, it does feel good to actually achieve something. It's time to move on and change for the better.


On the day I officially became I lawyer, I learned how to move on and resolve which part of me stays the same and which part of me grows.

First Glance

My two adorable baby nieces.

just a thought

i just find it funny that when you have so much time in your hands, you realize at the end of the day how little you have accomplished; but when you're pressed for time, that's when you're most productive.

"You have one week left to live..."

No, this line wasn't told to me by my kidney doctor. (God forbid!) This was just a thought that entered my mind as I have a week left before I officially become a member of the working class.

I finally accepted the offer of one of the law firms within my area last Friday. We finalized the terms of my employment and I start work as a Junior Associate on May 7, Monday. For a starting lawyer, the pay is actually quite good; and it seems like the legal training I shall receive from the firm would be excellent. The partners of the firm all seemed pleasant and reasonable. In addition, they had this certain "lawyerly" aura within them - they looked confident but not arrogant. And they had presence - I felt they were the type whom everyone would listen to when they spoke. I, of course, would want to acquire this unique aura from them.

I'm very much excited because after 25 years of existence, I would finally be able to work and earn my own keep. At the same time, I am extremely nervous and scared at the thought of it. I've never really done much legal work in the past that I can't gauge if I'll be good at it or not. What if being a lawyer isn't natural for me? What if I don't meet the expectations of my bosses? Simply put, what if I suck at work and be put to shame?

One thing's for sure: I'd definitely give it my best. I just hope it would be enough. As of now, I'm just thinking of all the personal matters that I need to attend to before I get really busy with work. And I have one week left to do all of these. I have one week left to live.

My Daily Reflection

Taken from the daily bible reflection book Didache, this entry (April 23, Monday) is very much appropriate in my life right now. It's a lesson for me and for everyone else reading this.

It's Not About Me

Whenever I pray, I ask for what I need (like a good job).
Sometimes, I ask for what I want (like a new cell phone).
And God gives it.
When He doesn't answer my prayer the way I expected (like when my friend isn't healed), I persevere in praying until my faith flickers.
I even blame Him for every bad thing that happens (like a traffic jam!).
After the fierce storm, God's wisdom comes.
I realize I cannot twist God's arm to give me what I expected.
He knows what is best for me.
What I must do is to be constant in praying so I will understand His ways.
Then, I can freely accept His will in my life through good and bad times.
It's not about me.
It's about Him.
-RosAnn J.

OMG!

i swear, anything that interferes with my eating (or anything i do orally, for that matter) has absolutely got to stop! it's just not funny anymore. please, let's make this deal: i keep my end of the bargain and you keep yours. just please make them go away. i certainly want my oral life back.

Organize my life, quote unquote

Sometimes I just feel so lazy that I lose my sense of urgency over things. I like putting things off until the last minute. If something needs to be thought over, I honestly believe that the best way to think it through is to sleep on it. And it's not just a mere nap, it should be a full 8-hour sleep (sometimes rounds of 8-hour sleeps even). If something needs to be done, I'm not the type to carefully plan each detail. I don't go about making plans days before the event. I like doing it shotgun style. But heck, it works for me and I think I've mastered the art of cramming and multitasking. No one's ever really complained of the way I handle things.

But there are times when I realize that I've just put too many things aside. All those pending tasks, important decisions, family and house matters, etc. seem to have just piled up in an instant. That's the time when I acknowledge my limits. I sit down, grab a pen and a piece of paper, think of all the things that need to be done and "organize my life."

Can you predict a personality through a person's birthdate?

Your Birthdate: June 24

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist. A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around. You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you. You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people. Your strength: Your devotion Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness Your power color: Lilac Your power symbol: Heart Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Updates, updates

Don’t you just have up days and down days? And they’re not up or down because of something that happened during the day or something that’s about to happen. At times, you feel up or down just because. During an up day, you feel like nothing’s gonna stop you from having such a good day. You just can't wipe that smile off your face and you glide instead of walk, and everyone just notices you. During a down day, you just feel heavy and discontent. You’d rather keep to yourself and you start pondering about life and love and anything that currently sucks about your existence. So you don’t need a reason to feel up or down at a particular day. And when someone’s having a down day, don’t ask why; there may be no reason. Just lend a shoulder and some Kleenex, if needed.

***

My eldest sister recently gave birth last April 8 to a darling baby girl! She gave birth at night and I had the chance to visit them the following morning already. My new niece is soooo adorable! When we were there, she just kept on yawning and sleeping. She hardly cries, only when she wants to feed or when her diapers need to be changed. She’s the second niece among our immediate family and I am indeed being dethroned as the baby of the family. I have no worries about that since I am moving on to great heights towards being a more mature individual! (Haha!) (Just a fast fact: My sister gave birth during Easter Sunday, the Resurrection of Jesus Christ; and her family name right now is Resurreccion! It was, indeed, perfect timing to give birth.)

***

A few days ago, I was so happy to see once again my group of friends from law school. Being the forced recluse that I am, I was so happy to be out of the house and to just be with the company of my closest friends. It was for business actually; we needed to go to the Supreme Court – Office of the Bar Confidante to fix our papers before we have our oath taking. What a great disappointment it was when I found out I still couldn’t attend to my papers and it was all because of their Office’s fault! I submitted all the requirements needed but apparently, they forgot to process one of them. It manifested in their records that I lacked my law transcript of grades but when they checked my folder, it was just there! Now I still need to wait until next week for me to be able to fix my papers. It was a good thing that I was just really happy to see my friends that I didn’t blow my top (at least not that much) at the Office. After all, I think that for as long as I’ll be a lawyer, I’ll still deal with them. At least now they know they owe me one. A big one.

***

After going to the Supreme Court, I went around Makati alone to give out my resume to some law firms. Since parking is such a hassle within the area, I just walked from law firm to law firm. After all, most of them were just near each other. Or so I thought. I eventually just took a cab from office to office towards the end of the afternoon! Though tiring, it was actually exciting for me. This was the first time ever that I actively tried seeking employment. And though exhausting, it was rewarding as well – one of the firms actually called up already the following day and set me up for an interview! The law office that called is actually just a small firm and I’m not too keen on working there, but at least now I know perhaps I really have something to offer to the law firms.

***

What good is an update on my life if I don’t give out a health update, right? Well, I’ve been feeling pretty normal and strong the past few weeks. I honestly feel I can already go out and party all night long! (Hehe, but I won’t.) I haven’t had anything serious for months now. Currently, I just have these really annoying singaw (thrush) and acne! Argh, these singaw really hurt at times. And what’s worse is that they sometimes hinder me from doing one of my most favorite pastimes – eating! And about the acne, I’m not really vain or anything like that, but when they grow really big, not only are they a hideous sight but they can become painful as well. And I’m not just talking about pimples on the face, they’re even on my chest and back! (Okay, have I grossed you out enough already?) =)

***

Though I just stayed at home most of the day, I actually received two surprises yesterday. The first one was a telephone call from a really close college friend of mine who’s now based in the US. It was such a surprise because I haven’t heard from him for the longest time! It was actually great reminiscing our college days and how completely laidback we were. And it’s amazing that no matter how long it has been, the friendship and the bond are still there. Pare, we’re grown-ups now! Hehe. The second surprise was a package from my aunt and her family from the US. The small box was addressed to me and they already put an “Atty.” on my name! I’m definitely not used to such designation but it felt really good. Suddenly, what was inside the box didn’t really matter. I opened it and saw two long sleeved shirts and matching neckties which looked really nice and fit me well. I immediately called up my aunt and her family to thank them for their thoughtfulness.

***

Here’s to hoping for up days for everyone just because!

Halo

I never promised you a ray of light,
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday,
I'll give you everything I have, the good, the bad.
Why do you put me on a pedestal,
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below,
So help me down you've got it wrong, I don't belong there.

One thing is clear,
I wear a halo,
I wear a halo when you look at me,
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so, if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you,
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

I always said that I would make mistakes,
I'm only human, and that's my saving grace,
I fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
See me as I really am, I have flaws and sometimes I even sin,
so pull me from that pedestal,
I don't belong there.

Why you think that you know me
But In your eyes
I am something above you
It's only in your mind
Only in your mind
I wear a Halo

-Haley James Scott

I wish you never put me on a pedestal

Now, not only do I want to walk down from it,

I want to walk out from you.

The long wait is over!

I woke up early this morning and I still can't believe it... Everything that happened last night wasn't a dream. It was all real. The hundreds of congratulatory text messages (including that first one which confirmed the news); the endless phone calls from abroad, from Isabela and from Batangas; all the mobile phone calls made and received from colleagues and special old friends; and the warm, tight hugs from my family.

I think that this is, by far, my greatest achievement to date. My friends actually keep on telling me how proud they are of me: For hurdling the bar despite all my health issues. How I lost so much time for studying because of the hours I spent each week for dialysis. How I kept myself strong and positive and focused despite all the possible distractions brought about my kidney disease. My normal reaction was to brush aside all these compliments and I’d remark that we all had our different issues to deal with.

But looking back, tears start to well up my eyes (which does not happen very often). I remember all the hardships I went through. I even thought of not taking the bar yet to attend to my health. I remember dreading the days I had to go to the hospital for dialysis not only because of the pain but more so because of the fact that I’d lose so much study time. I remember my strict no-salt diet which really sucked big time. I’d have moments when I really wanted to give up but just didn’t show it because it was not expected of me. I am but human, after all.

Now, the long wait is over and I am truly grateful for all the blessings I have received. I think that this is, by far, my greatest achievement ever.

I didn't make it...

...to the Top Ten!

Bwahaha!

I'm ecstatic right now. I actually passed the bar! I'm in a whirlwind of emotions. I can't sleep yet coz the adrenaline just keeps on rushing all through out my body. But at the same time, my mind's not exactly thinking clearly right now.

I think I'll leave this post like this first and I'll just write another one when I'm in a sounder state of mind. But for now, I just wanted to share the news - I MADE IT!

This is it...

I have been soooo calm and collected the past two weeks considering that I found out that the bar results will be out soon. But now that it's finally D day when the results are to come out, I find myself panicking and extremely nervous. I keep on fidgeting; I can't contain myself and my mind is a total blaaah. I find myself staring into space until I realize that this is it. This is really it.

asofterworld.com strips