Stronger...

...i honestly feel i am.

i just hope i don't push myself to the limit,

and find myself back to where i started.

www.mypersonality.info

Myers-Briggs Personality Types

ENFP: The "Advocate"

ENFPs are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.

Real ENFP People:

Alicia Silverstone, Bill Cosby, Bob Dylan, Charles Dickens, Dr. Seuss, Franz Joseph Haydn, Martin Short, Phil Donahue, Regis Philbin, Robin William, Sandra Bullock, Sinbad

ENFP Population

Total: 5.5%
Male: 4.5%
Female: 6.5%

Lazy days...

It's pouring heavily outside. This cool and soothing weather is perfect for staying in bed all day and snuggling up with your pillows and sheets (for lack of a warm body to hug. hehe)

It's a Friday - it's the end of the week and tomorrow's the start of a long weekend, Monday being a holiday).

Ah! It's a perfect day for procrastination!

I'm going home!

I know it's weird, but for the past two weeks or so, I've been playing this song on my drive home from work. I play it the second I get to our village gate and the song ends in perfect timing - when I actually do get home and park my car on our garage. From such a busy and tiring day at work, I enjoy listening to this song (and singing with it at the top of my voice). It releases all the stress and anxiety brought by work and makes me forget about them when I do get to the place where I belong, and where my family's love has always been enough for me -- HOME.

"Home"
by: Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Restless

I don’t know why but I’ve been quite restless for the past few weeks. I’ve been searching for something to pacify these lingering qualms of mine but to no avail.

I’ve practically tried searching for it in all places, actually.

I’ve tried eating to my heart’s desire til I become an official glutton. I’ve tried shopping for whatever suddenly tickles my fancy at the malls. I’ve loaded myself with enough workload just to keep my busy but my mind just seems to keep on wandering and yearning for something else. I’ve gained accomplishments over the past few weeks but nothing seems to appease my soul. I’ve searched and tried all other bodily pleasures (and my, they were indeed pleasurable) but I still felt restless, sometimes even guilty, afterwards.

The problem is that I can’t pinpoint want I really want right now.

My friend, I guess you are right. At the risk of sounding too philosophical (which never really was my style), perhaps I’m just on that phase where I’m seeking my purpose. I’m actually happy, but there’s just something lacking right now. A reason for living. A sense of wholeness.

I know I’m gonna keep on searching for that something until I finally get the right one. I just hope I find it soon.

My Daemon

I just nicked this from Pd and I must admit, it's pretty damn interesting.

Lately

Lately, I’ve been finding myself all by my lonesome with only my pen and paper and the voice inside my head for company, and actually enjoying every moment of it. I go out and eat alone without any hesitation whatsoever, whether it be in a crowded place or in a secluded restaurant. I find myself strolling around the mall without any company and choosing a coffee shop or a restaurant or even a book store to have a quick stop over. If the place I choose is conducive and to my liking, I find myself staying for a longer period of time just pondering about the smallest of things to the bigger burdens I’m currently facing.

It’s weird, I know. Me, of all people, on the way towards becoming a full-fledged loner!

Perhaps, it’s the busy lifestyle I’m currently having right now – such that, whenever I have the opportunity to have a little peace and tranquility, I grab it right away and make the most out of it. Or maybe it’s an offshoot of months of having minimal contact with people during my post-kidney transplant recovery period. I really don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m actually yearning for more time all by myself. I’ve actually been looking for the place.

The place where I can sit down comfortably and not care about the entire universe. The place where I can think of all my desires and even my concerns and issues, and not worry one single bit. The place where I can be me – with no one around to judge or react or criticize.

It’s weird, I know. But I’m actually liking this other side of me.

In just three words...

Use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less. It's harder than you think.

1. Where is your cell phone? - STONE’S THROW AWAY
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? -SOON TO COME (pwede ring IN MY DREAMS)
3. Your hair? – NEEDS A HAIRCUT
4. Where is your father? UPSTAIRS IN DREAMLAND
5.Cheesecake? – MADE OF CHEESE
6. Your favorite thing to do? – SLEEP ALL DAY
7. Your dream last night? – CAN’T REALLY REMEMBER
8. Your favorite drink? – ICED TEA, PLEASE
9. Car You Want? – MY OWN VOLVO
10. The room you're in? – OFFICE SLASH DEN
11. George Bush: SHOULD BE REPLACED
12. Your fears? BECOMING TOO FAMOUS (haha!)
13. Nipple rings? DON’T THEY HURT?
14. Who would you hang out with tonight? MY THREE PILLOWS
15. What you're not good at? CRAZY SURVEYS THAT (limit your answers to only three f*cking words!)
16. Go check GoofyAuctions.com and give your opinion? CHECK IT YOURSELF!
17. One of your wish list items? PERFECTLY STABLE HEALTH
18. Where did you grow up? IN THE METRO
19. The last thing you did? CHECK MY E-MAIL
20. What are you wearing? OOH, YOU’RE NAUGHTY
21. Tattoo? – NONE RIGHT NOW
22. Ketchup? – NO, THANK YOU
23. Your computer? – STILL A COMPUTER
24. Your life? – BUSY WITH WORK
25. Your mood? – I’M JUST CHILLIN’
26. Missing? – MY FRIENDS ABROAD
27. What are you thinking about right now? – CAN’T WAIT TOGETTHISOVERWITH!
28. Your summer? – WAS TOO HOT
29. Your relationship status? – SINGLE AND AVAILABLE
30. Your favorite color(s)- GREY AND BLUE
31. When was the last time you laughed? – I ALWAYS DO
32. Last time you cried? – LONG TIME AGO
33. High school? – PART OF HISTORY
34. Who's your crush? – WHO IS YOURS?
35. Music you're listening to? – HOME BY DAUGHTRY

prci

For the life of me, I would never ever forget this baptism of fire of mine…

…where there’s no such thing as free journalism, even news articles have a price.

…where there’s always office politics no matter where you go.

…where judges don’t care if it’s obvious that they’re impartial, as long as they get their end of the deal.

…where being the lone associate in a team (the rest being partners) is both a reward and a curse.

…where you get a lot of first times for everything.

…where you finally get to show off your suits and eat at fancy restos.

…where learning is an ongoing process and you actually begin to love it.

…where you finally get the chance to prove your worth to the firm and succeed.

You get me through the day

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

June in retrospect (Two weddings and a funeral, among others)

(This entry is actually long overdue. It remained half-finished and stored in the deep recesses of my office laptop memory until I stumbled upon it today. Considering that the entry is about the month of June and it is already the end of July, I realized the need to actually finish this entry and post it before it gets kept and forgotten once again only to find it again a month or so thereafter.)

It has actually been a pretty busy month of June. Workload was terrible; occasions and gatherings happened left and right; and personal matters just somehow always kept in the way of everything else. Thus, these last few days of June, I had a self-imposed ceasefire just to break away from all worries and concerns. And it was a time as well to look back and ponder if what keeps me busy nowadays are the things which truly matter and make me happy in my life.

Two Weddings

June is, indeed, a month of weddings. Two of my really good friends from college became June brides as they walked along the aisle on consecutive Saturdays. I guess you realize how much older you’re getting through the occasions that you attend. Life starts out with attendance at kiddie parties where what really mattered were the games and the prizes and the goodies you were gonna get. Then there’s the phase of attending your friends’ debuts and perhaps, even becoming part of the cotillion de honor. And now, when most of your friends are already working, some of them decide to settle down with their better halves and get married. Before I know it, I’d be attending baptisms and kiddie parties of my friends’ children! I feel so old already – NOT! Hehe. I actually still feel young and don’t really feel the need to rush things.

It was great because I finally had the chance to see my college barkada. I just realized I haven’t seen them since I started reviewing for the bar, which is, almost a year ago already. I just realized I never really had the chance to talk about my college barkada here in my blog. We’re actually a big group – around 20. Around a third are already abroad, a number went on to further studies (like me), most are already working in companies here and, as I just mentioned earlier, two of them recently got married. I don’t really get to see them as often as I’d want to. We all went on our different paths already. But what’s nice about it is that whenever we do get the chance to get together, it’s like reliving our college days. It’s just pure fun and laughter, and the bond remains the same.

A Funeral

I actually don’t like going to wakes and funerals. There’s some sort of fear and worry that envelops me whenever I am asked to attend such events. But I go anyways and realize thereafter that there’s actually nothing to fear of. In fact, this last wake which I attended, it gave me a chance to think about life and death and everything in between.

I know this may sound morbid, but if I were to die today, it would actually be fine by me. Seriously. No, I’m not going through a suicidal stage; neither am I already getting sick and tired of life - I never was the type. It’s just that I’m happy and contented with life right now. I always strive to be good-natured and I try my best to remain happy no matter what. Thus, if God decided to take my life today, I won’t think of the things I still wish to do and the dreams I still want to fulfill. Rather, I’d think of all the things I’ve already done and pray that these are enough to give me eternal rest. May we all learn to surrender ourselves completely through life and death and everything in between.

Work

The reason why June has been such a hectic month was because of work, work and more work. Two lawyers left our firm (one went on study leave and the other resigned) and I suddenly found myself swamped with so much caseload to handle. I’m taking on so many different cases of different natures – corporate, litigation, labor and taxation – that I don’t know if I should be glad I’m getting so much training and experience, or if I should feel overburdened with all this work.

I’ve realized that I’m actually in a love-hate relationship with my work right now. Work is something I love to hate and hate to love. At times, I feel so exhausted that I wish I didn’t have too much work. But at the same time, I know that if I didn’t have anything to do, I’d be wishing for something to get my hands on. Oh well, the ironies of life. If there’s any important realization about work that I’ve had this month of June, it is that I should learn to stop thinking of work when I get home. It gives you time to de-stress and it rejuvenates your tired body.

Family

Almost every weekend this month of June, the family was together for some event. During the long Independence Day weekend, my brother and sister and their respective spouses and babies decided to stay at home with us. The following Sunday, it was Father’s Day and so we had our usual family meal outside. The Sunday after that, it was my birthday (yipee!) and my parents’ wedding anniversary and so we went to Tagaytay to enjoy the whole day there. During two Sundays also, we experienced the joys of modern technology when we “webcammed” and “microphoned” with my brother in the US. It was our first time to try it out and well, everyone was excited and amazed at outcome.

Now that we’re all grown up and not everyone in the family stays in our house any longer, I get to appreciate the times that we are able to gather as a complete family together with the in-laws and my nieces. I guess it’s not really the fact that you stay together in one house that makes you a family, it’s the relationship with each other that’s more important.

Health

I visited my kidney doctor during the first Saturday of June. The lab results were normal and my check-up went a-ok. I’m glad things are turning out fine despite the fact that I’ve been such a busybody the previous month. I only hope that this continues until like, forever! After this check-up of mine, it was the first time that my doctor told me to return for another check-up after a month. Previously, it’s been after every two weeks; perhaps, three weeks at the longest. My doctor’s more confident of the stability of my health now, although, of course, I should always still be on the safe side. My doctor asked me if I get too pressured at work. I lied, of course. I said, “Not at all.” And then she gave me an advice I will never forget: If you get too pressured at work and your internal organs start to deteriorate again, it’s definitely not worth it. Good health is always better than career or money.

A double-edged sword

Whenever your boss gives you a piece of work of his and asks you to review it and add any comments or suggestions, if any, consider it as a double-edged sword.

OPTION A: On one hand, you ask yourself, “Should I return this work of his unscathed and free from comments except for praises on how convincing it is and how brilliant the masterpiece is?” If you decide to go for this Option, it’s either you get labeled as an ass-kisser or someone dull with no bright new ideas.

OPTION B: On the other hand, you ask yourself, “Should I give all my input or at least try to make up something worthwhile to add to the current piece of work?” If you decide to go for this Option, it’s either you get labeled as a proud and arrogant know-it-all or just plain outright disrespectful to your boss.

So go ahead and choose. Option A or B?

Happy birthday to me...

I was driving alone on my way home. The clock has struck twelve and it was officially my birthday. I was preparing myself for a gloomy day (albeit hidden) full of unsettling thoughts and complex worries. And You came along... So Thank You.

In The Sun
Michael Stipe

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
’cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can’t keep awake

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

’cause if I find
If I find my own way

How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
You

I don’t know anymore
What it’s for
I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
’cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
Any more than me

May God’s love be with you
Always
May God’s love be with you

Thoughts on life

I guess at any stage in your life, you will always ask,

"Is it all worth it?"

And you just continue persevering until you find the answer, which, of course, you never would. That's when you realize there's never a right or wrong answer -- only consequences you have to deal with which make you ask the same question all over again. Life goes on a complete circle and you'll realize that the choices you were worrying about before weren't as significant as you thought they were.

So go ahead and live life. Certain events may be, in your opinion, not worth it. But generally, life is worth it.

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I never really thought of myself as the "dreamer" type of person, but come to think of it, I do have a lot of things I would want to fulfill in this lifetime. I likewise view everything from an optimistic point of view and nothing can stop me from seeing the good in everything. Does that make me too much of a dreamer?

Four Somethings

4 jobs I’ve had in my life
• Lawyer
• Banker
• Entrepreneur
• Male Gigolo!

4 movies I could watch over and over again
• Primal Fear
• Monsters Inc.
• Cars
• Saw

4 places I've lived
• Alabang
• Paranaque
• Rockwell, Makati
• Loyola Heights, Quezon City

4 TV Shows/Channels I love to watch
• Survivor
• Grey’s Anatomy
• Prison Break
• Deal or No Deal

4 places I've been on vacation
• Los Angeles
• Singapore
• Hong Kong
• Boracay

4 of my favorite foods
• Pasta!
• Green Salad
• Potatoes! (mashed, baked, French fried, etc.)
• chocolates

4 places I'd rather be in by now
• The Moon
• On the Kodak Theatre stage, singing my heart out in American Idol.
• Lying on the sand in Boracay while getting a full body massage.
• In bed, off to Neverland

Multi-tasking

I’ve been working on cases left and right this morning. While preparing for a meeting and studying the files of one corporate case, I am suddenly disrupted when a client calls me via landline to ask about his intellectual property case. Immediately thereafter, my big boss calls my mobile phone to inquire about the status of another corporate case and in the process, also gives me further instructions on one of my litigation cases. And these aren’t even the cases which are on my “to do list” urgently needed for today!

My big boss tells me that the “kids” of my generation are known for their exceptional multi-tasking skills. I just smile and slightly nod with approval while thinking otherwise. Us, “kids,” are exceptional in multi-tasking only when it comes to leisure. Sure, I can watch TV, talk on the phone, play with my baby nieces, send text messages, lie down to rest and listen to music all at the same time. But when it comes to work… no, I don’t think so… I need all the concentration I can get!

I better inform my big boss of the true nature of multi-tasking of “kids” these days. Just so he won’t expect too much. =)

To L (my long overdue entry)

You were L to begin with…

And perhaps the reason why I never really got to finish this post before is because it’s hard to sum up the entire sixteen years in just a few measly paragraphs.

Though I cannot, for the life of me, encapsulate those sixteen years; what I do know is that distance will never be a hindrance to our friendship and that God will always find a funny way of making our paths cross once again.

So, L, thank you for the friendship. I wish you all the best in your journey and I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Here’s to sixteen times sixteen more years of friendship!

Chasing Cars

Chasing Cars
Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Have said too much
But not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Work, work, work

While I am really overjoyed that, day after day, I am able to prove my worth in this firm; I am, at the same time, overwhelmed at the caseload that is given me. All the folders and files in my room are piling up and I just can’t seem to catch up anymore! I just hope I am able to cover everything on their required deadlines...